Monday, October 10, 2011
Until we meet again
I can remember how we would sit together for an hour before the regular meeting and go through the steps. We spent a lot of time together going through the fourth step book, Blue Print for Progress. So many memories of how desperate I was to get the message, to listen, to have a solid foundation of peace which I saw in this person. We shared a lot of information with each other and developed a level of trust that I haven't had with many people in my life.
I know that being across the country is not the end of the world. I told him about Skype and how we can talk for free via our computers. Nonetheless, it feels like a loss for me. It feels as if I have moved to a place in recovery that I am grateful for, yet I also long for those times of desperation when we would sit and talk one on one. I miss that. I miss the learning process, the eagerness that I felt, the times that I needed to be heard and to hear words of encouragement.
He left me a notebook from his early days in Al-Anon and a bag of chips, including many of his own. That is a special thing about this group--we celebrate the recovery birthday's of the members with a candle and cake and chips. We will continue this tradition, although tonight the thought of this has an empty feeling.
This isn't an ending. I sincerely hope that it is a beginning for him in his new home. He will be near one of his children. I want to say, "But what about me?" I have to let him go because it is what he needs at this time in life. That comforts me. I am much the better person for having him as my sponsor.
Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.- Richard Bach