Friday, December 2, 2011
Some firsts today
My father-in-law woke up from several days in a coma. It is the first miracle of the day. I am sure that there will be more if I just pay attention. I want to ask him where he was, what did he see. I am visiting him today and will sit quietly. No questions are really necessary.
The first frost of the season stole in last night. The fields were covered in frost. The light was just right for a shot just after sunrise. Crisp clear days wonderful.
The first wet nose in my face this morning belonged to a dog. My wife's nose wasn't wet, but she nuzzled me too and gave me a kiss. Those are precious moments in starting the day.
My first thought was the old dog. She is still around me in spirit. I think that she knows I want her near. My parents were with me too for a while after they died. And then one day, their spirits had moved on. I had moved through the raw grief. There are some mysteries that I am not meant to understand. I just accept them for what they are.
My first meeting with my local sponsor in a couple of weeks will be at lunch. He has been to Australia, so I'm interested in hearing what has been going on. He is low key and not controlling. I can feel that we mesh well.
The first winter squash soup of the season is simmering on the stove. I like the soup recipes posted by bloggers. I print them out and get inspired to do some culinary stuff. My wife smiles as I am chopping carrots and celery and squash.
I don't know what else the day has in store, but so far, it has been a good one.
For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel peaceful. Not happy. Not sad. Not anxious. Not horny. Just all the higher parts of my brain closing up shop. The cerebral cortex. The cerebellum. That's where my problem is. I'm now simplifying myself. Somewhere balanced in the perfect middle between happiness and sadness....~Chuck Palahniuk