Monday, January 2, 2012
My main concern on the drive was getting some collard greens and Hoppin' John. Hoppin' John is the Southern US version of a traditional rice and beans dish eaten throughout West Africa. It consists of black-eyed peas or field peas and rice, with chopped onion and sliced bacon or ham hock. Smaller than black-eyed peas, field peas are used in the Low Country of South Carolina and Georgia; black-eyed peas are the norm elsewhere.
Throughout the coastal South, eating Hoppin' John on New Year's Day is thought to bring a prosperous year filled with luck. Collard greens, kale, turnip greens, and mustard greens eaten along with this dish are supposed to add to the wealth since they are the color of money. Another traditional New Year's Day food, cornbread, also represents wealth since it is the color of gold.
I was getting worried until I found a diner where they served up the money and good luck as part of a vegetable plate along with some corn bread. I was happy! So if you missed out on some peas, greens, and corn bread, there is always next year.
Today, I'm going to mosey around a bit. Maybe check out the marinas. I'll help my friend get settled in his accommodations where he will be studying for the next few weeks. I've already checked the Al-Anon schedule and will be going to a meeting tonight. I'm going to call the local AIS to make sure of the meeting schedule. We will probably also hit some open AA meetings as well. There is a 12 step house not far from here.
The first day of 2012 has been good to me. But it has been hard on others. My wife misunderstood when the caregivers were returning so she spent New Year's Eve at her parents' home. She got home yesterday around noon and was so relieved. I know that she won't be doing the night shift for an entire week again. I told her that I thought it would be too much and now she agrees.
And to the bloggers out there who have been having troubles with family members, all I can say is take care of yourself. Giving up your own life to try to save someone else's doesn't work. Two people are then lost. I know that you love your child, spouse, husband, friend, etc. but you cannot save them. And meanwhile the "normal" people in the family become less happy and more mixed up in the disease of alcoholism/addiction. It took a lot of painful reminders for me to finally understand that I was not only harming myself but others when I tried to love them out of their disease. If you think that you have that kind of power, I have news for you--the disease will kill you from stress, worry, and anxiety. The martyr role is not going to stop the disease either. I finally understood the words "keep the focus on yourself" that my sponsor hammered into me. I get it.
Okay, that's it for now. Time to find a grocery store.