Saturday, February 4, 2012

More was revealed

When a friend went to visit my father-in-law yesterday, I met him at the nursing home. I had more clothes to drop off and some laundry to pick up. He took those things back to Pop. They talked for a few minutes. When he came back to the nurses' station, he said, "Hey man, he seems to be in a good mood so what if I ask him if he wants to see you?". He came out nodding yes.

When I went in the room, Pop smiled at me and asked how I was doing. Well, I sat down next to him and told him how sorry I was for my actions the other night. I told him that I hoped we could still be part of each other's lives. When he said that things happen sometimes and all is okay now, I felt such relief.
It was one of those moments when a great weight is lifted. It is like the soul lets out a deep sigh.

So we had a good visit. My friend, D., likes history so Pop told him stories about the naval war in the Pacific. The nurses said that they liked Pop and thought that he was "sweet". What a difference a few days made.

When I called my wife, she cried. She did not want to be estranged from her dad. I realize that all of this is one day at a time, but I do think that by understanding more about his disease, I am better prepared for any change in mood. He is on a mood stabilizer which helps him, but I can't help but think that other things factored in. My friend D. who has been a recovering alcoholic for 21 years can be witty, charming and disarming. The Higher Power provided a positive energy and opportunity. I know that things can change, but I said what I wanted to say to him with love and no anger.

We left on the boat early this morning to catch the tide. So far, we have walked on the beach, read and slept. It has been a good day. Tomorrow evening, we will head back and C. will visit her dad. Her mom is visiting tomorrow afternoon. For the moment, things seem positive and possible.

24 comments:

  1. I couldn't be happier for this resolution. Yes, one day at a time. God is good. Live and let live. All these are true. I hope my difficulties with my dad and brother are resolved soon. I am encouraged by the experience, hope and strength in this blog.

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  2. I am so happy for you that you had the opportunity to visit with your FIL and have a talk with him and that it went so well. It must have made it easier to go on the boat and take some much deserved time to relax.

    I can feel the relief you and C. must be feeling.

    Take care.

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  3. ahhhhhhhhh... so glad for this respite from the storm and a little healing and restoration.

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  4. And so another miracle is born....ain't God great?

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  5. What a blessing. When my parents were dying mood seemed to change like the weather. It can be difficult to navigate but I think you got the tools you need...just don't forget to use them!

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  6. I'm happy you had such a good experience today. Take it one day at a time. Trust your HP. Savor the good days like today. Detach when illness. Good things come to those who work their program - like you.

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  7. positive and possible is good.

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  8. nice...i am so happy for both of you...that is awesome syd...sets me at ease a bit in this for you

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  9. I'm so glad to hear you and C were able to find peace today.

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  10. Oh Syd, I'm so grateful that the HP has done things His way (as usual)

    I took the liberty of copying the steps 8 and 9 of the inventory I sent in an earlier blog - - - gave me chills as I re-read this.

    Here's the copy --

    Step 8 - The list is made - check your journal (blog)

    Step 9 - Wait. God will provide the time for amends. Perhaps He will take care of this; just wait. You will know.

    To see the program work through a Higher Power and the steps is just overwhelming to me. You have provided a wonderful lesson in use of these wonderful tools.

    This being said, I bid you good night, God bless you, and keep the peace.

    Hugs,
    Anonymous #1

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  11. Yup! Things are always 'possible'...not always positive. Your Alanon activities help you to make bot positive AND possible.

    PEACE!

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  12. I am SO HAPPY that you and C got to leave on your little get away feeling that things are getting resolved and settling down. What a tremendous blessing!

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  13. I am glad your FIL is more stable.
    Taking time out help clear the air for me sometimes. I hold on so tight when things get intense, when I can let go and trust it seems to work out just the way it was supposed to.

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  14. Good news Syd -- and I hope your FIL's moods have been stabilised.

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  15. That is good FIL has adjusted. Many people don't settle in that easily.

    You and C took your time, and made good decisions. Everyone deserves humane treatment and dignity.

    I love that picture..so peaceful.

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  16. Attitude Syd, just try to keep the positive attitude up. There are going to be good days and bad but on the bad ones remember the good ones in your head and the bad won't be as bad.

    Sailing in February..dude I don't care where you are if your North of the equator it had to be a might chilly?

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  17. I'm just glad that all is better.

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  18. When I make an amend, and it's accepted, it feels just as you described. I'm glad for this outcome for you.

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  19. So good to hear that things are calmer, and that you took the opportunity in the midst of the calm to make it right with your FIL. He may or may not retain that, but it's important that you did it, for your heart.

    And - it is amazing to me how the right kind of humour can lift almost anyone's spirits.

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  20. Hang in there Syd. I often think of the saying that "the only constant in life is change". It helps me to realize how little I can influence what happens and to just let go and live the good moments to the extreme and let the bad times fade.

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  21. I'm glad for this for you.

    My mother-in-law had Alzheimer's and it changed her personality at times. Once, my sister-in-law said she shook my two-year-old son in anger...I didn't see it, but it saddened me to hear that (he was fine btw). That's not how I want to remember her. For the most part she was very sweet. I mostly think of her sweetness when I think of her, but that incident left a stain. It makes me sad.

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  22. This post made me smile. So often time gives answers we would otherwise not have. My heart smiles to know you and C are still in your in-laws life. (Hugs)Indigo

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  23. HP just absolutely rocks Syd! I have chills reading this post. So happy :-)

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