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| "Remember when you were young..." |
Fast forward to today, and I'm seeing that a few of the people that I went to HS with are really pretty cool. They are no longer the jocks, the nerds or the bad asses, but just a bunch of people who have....surprise....grown up. One of my friends is a runner and mountain climber. Another lost his wife recently. Others have had children, been divorced, had health issues. They aren't frozen in time, except in my memory. And a few of my classmates have died--a couple by suicide which took me aback.
So I'm thinking that it will be interesting to go and see who these people are now. I'm wondering how they have evolved since HS. No doubt, there are some that I will connect with and others that I may not want to see again. But the fear of going back to the scene of so much hormonal and emotional angst has lessened. I think that my life (and recovery) has gotten to the point where people from the past no longer have so much power over me. Amazingly enough, I've been able to let those HS experiences go and can actually laugh about the things that I took so seriously.
So, have you been to any reunions? What was your experience?
No my school does not have them I went to a vocationl high school,but I do wonder about the guys that I went to class with.
ReplyDeleteWas headed to one, but 911 stopped the flight. Another happened this past year, 30 years. I was not sure they had all grown up enough for me to spend over a thousand dollars on a weekend with those I did not care for the first time around. Maybe next time. ~Kelly
ReplyDeleteI've been to a few school reunions but I couldn't get to them until about twenty years had passed. I now wish more folks whom I shared my schooling with would reappear. Like you I have been surprised by the changes in people over time. How fixed they are in my memory and how different they are in fact.
ReplyDeleteMy graduating class was in Berlin Germany, and only 15 people. No one has ever organized a reunion. I found one person on FB, one died in Vietnam, I don't know what happened to anyone else. I would love to spend some time with those people, but in my case it will never happen.
ReplyDeleteI did go to my 20 year reunion, I had said I wasn't going and didn't want to see "Those" people again, but in the end having become sober and been praying, I had an amend to make and there was a convergence of signs that I was to go.
ReplyDeleteI ended up going to make one amend and finding many relationships restored and renewed acquaintanceship with people I would have written off in a different attitude. I'm so glad I went, I ended up chatting with people I really cared about and found I had a good time.
No, I haven't been. I almost went to the last one they had but it was right after my divorce and I felt self-conscious I guess. Hope you enjoy it. Love the picture.
ReplyDeleteI almost went to my 30th. Then they sent out a questionnaire. It made me feel like I was 15 again, and that was NOT a good time for me. I was not really a part of that class, I didn't stay in touch with anyone. I think I just wanted to go and tell people that I had a masters degree and graduated with honors from a good university. And I am sure not one of them would have cared.
ReplyDeleteI graduated from a small class, and we've not been successful in putting together much in the way of real reunions. I went to the first one, a five-year affair. I had just gotten sober 8 months prior, so I only went to the high school football game. All the rest of the activities were at the bar. That's how my class rolled then, and that's still how they try to roll now. So, I've been disinterested.
ReplyDeleteSyd ...I spent thirty years forgetting my entire primary school experience and consciously avoiding any contact with any of those people.
ReplyDeleteBut then I got on Facebook and cautiously got to know them again, some had read my books, some just wanted to connect...so there was a reunion 40th I think last year, I went. Add a beard and hair to my ass I was the only one that weighed the same as I did when I left, I had my share of adventures and never got wrapped up in corporate ladder climbing. I was surprised like you said how many of them had gotten very sick or died, by whatever means but a lot of cancer.
But because I went public with what I had been doing since 9th grade and publishing it, hell somehow it gave them something they wanted to talk to me about.
All I can tell you of my experience Syd was that I was glad I went, a lot of old ghosts finally went to sleep and if nothing else that was worth the price of admission. And no I had no problem, not drinking while I was there. A lot of people bought me a diet Pepsi though.Surreal is the best word I have for it. GO!
time levels the playing field eh? smiles....still have no inkling to go to a HS reunion...
ReplyDeleteMy experience over the years is that no one liked high school, even the people I perceived to love it. So if go to the Reunion with your tool chest you will probably be surrounded by people you have a lot in common with.
ReplyDeleteThe last one I went to was so weird. The women had so obviously tried to look the same as they did in high school. I remember talking to one woman whose teeth had been so bleached they shone blue.
ReplyDeleteI was happy to see a handful of people and we said what we needed to say, caught up, and then...there was nothing else to say.
A guy who in high school had never been able to get a date got very drunk and started groping women. My husband almost took him outside to continue his education but I made him stop. My husband NEVER does things like that. He is so peaceful. BUT- this jerk had groped me!
So yeah, good times.
Maybe my high school graduating class just really sucked overall.
P.S. Great picture. I would have let you take me to the prom.
ReplyDeleteI went to my 25-year college reunion last year. I prepared for it very consciously by inviting some of the people I hung closely with back then, including my old college boyfriend, and they all came. During the reunion I also texted several people I knew who didn't make it, and I heard from another via social media later on.
ReplyDeleteIt was an amazing amends-making experience to myself. I went to a hoity-toity brainiac liberal arts school where many of the girls (back in the preppy 80s) wore strings of pearls and Cartier tank watches. I began shoplifting at that time because I was poor and felt inferior to those people. It turns out a lot of the women had eating disorders and other problems. And around every corner on campus I saw my teenage self drinking. I was able to be myself at the reunion, and that in itself was a huge amends.
This year I plan on going to my 30-year high school reunion. It will be another amends making experience to myself, and I hope to make some new friends. love /g
P.S. love the skinny jeans, Syd! :)
ReplyDeleteMine is coming up this year too...30 years. I'm not going. I didn't like high school. I have found quite a few of my old classmates on FB....thats fun, but thats enough for me.
ReplyDeleteNever been to HS reunion. Attended four different high schools in different parts of CA. The one I graduated from I was only at for three months. I hear about some great reunions though that my friends have attended.
ReplyDelete" . . . and shone like the Sun"
ReplyDeleteLoving the waistcoat Syd ;-)
Hi Syd,
ReplyDeleteDo yourself a favor and add this HS reunion experience to your Step 10 recovery effort - - - then simply apply Steps 8 and 9 to your OWN persona.
That was what I did for my 50th HS reunion a few years ago, and glory be - - - it worked! My expectations were created by the fear of who/what might do something once I arrived. I had to remember that I was not all that important that 47 different folks - all my age give or take a few months - would recall any experiences of or from me - - - any more than they did of themselves.
It was truly a comical experience - from age 17 to age 57 to see these people for the first time since graduation. I pictured myself as the beauty that Al-Anon prescribed I should make myself with my daily personal affirmations, and boy did I get a surprise when I saw all these old folks gathered together. (Blush here) - - - Heck - - - I looked like the rest of 'em - - - all grandparents now, some trying to hold onto their youth, some just like me - surprised at how old we had all become.
That was my personal self-centeredness with that expectation. All in all - it was a terrific experience. I had time to visit my family as well as my parents' final resting place, making the entire experience a very spiritual and great thing.
No advice here from me - - - but I think you'll really enjoy the experience. I'll bet that you look 'cooler' than all the others your age, too!
Hugs,
Anonymous #1
I havw only been to one. It was interesting but not interesting enough to do it again.
ReplyDeleteIt might be fun to attend as an adult emotionally and get a different take.
I've been to a number of them. My high school class has had many of them. My last one was our 35th in 2009. It was a wonderful time ,..really awesome. We were all SO happy to see each other & it was just incredibly great. Go for it. You may be very surprisingly rewarded at the experience. : ).
ReplyDeleteI went to my HS reunion, It was not an enjoyable experience took me back to feeling uncomfortable in my skin. It's an inside job feeling comfortable ...
ReplyDeleteGuess I need more acceptance toward myself.
The country in which I grew up no longer exists and my schoolmates are now part of the African diaspora -- I still get invited to colonial reunions but many of those attending have a nostalgia tinged with racism that I find offensive.
ReplyDeleteAnd as a schoolgirl, I lived a lie so I don't know what I'd say if people asked about my nice wealthy family -- would I be able to say that my father was a paedophile and my mother an alcoholic suicide or would I just have to pretend again? Many others may have had similar family secrets but I don't know they could come out at a reunion.
Syd, I dig the pic! Cool shirt....!
ReplyDeleteLOL
Have fun at the reunion, Syd. I went to my 30th. The funniest thing I heard was this phrase, "I bought my parent's house." I heard it 3 times. Some people haven't changed at all, literally, and it was a little sad. Some were GREAT. I'm never going to another reunion. Some were really creepy, as in, breaking up with you was the worst decision I ever made. My husband and his wife were standing next to us. Strange.
ReplyDeleteLove the photo! I had no intention of going to my first HS reunion, I told myself I stayed in touch with the ones that were important to me. A girlfriend of mine, at the time, talked me into getting a ticket to go with her. Then we had a falling out right before the reunion. So I asked my husband if he wanted to go with me. (He was a year ahead of me at the same HS - I actually wanted to go to his first reunion as a lot of my friends were in his class)
ReplyDeleteOverall, I'm glad I went. I interacted with a lot of different groups of people in HS and it was nice to see some of those people that I had actually forgotten about. However, it was very uncomfortable in MANY ways. It was a little bit of a time warp back in time. A lot of people were the same, living in the same HS fantasies. I pretty much stayed out of all the “politics” during HS and I did the same that night.