The weekend has been great. Once again the magic of being on the water is restorative. We have swum, slept, eaten, walked, and enjoyed intimacy.
One of the hardest things when there is active drinking is to feel any kind of intimacy, even though love for the person is still there. We have slept together for all the years of our marriage, with few exceptions. Those exceptions occurred after my wife had surgery for her heart attack and when she was so drunk that I couldn't stand to be near her.
Because she had blackouts, I would sometimes stay in the same bed in case she got up and wandered, fearing that she would fall down the steps . Intimacy was not something I enjoyed then. I had enough of boozy kisses followed by anger. Up and down moods when drinking made me wary. The loneliness became more entrenched.
Being sober makes a lot of difference in how we interact. Even though she has been sad lately, we still share a great deal of intimacy. We have learned to let go of past hurts in order to forge a new relationship built on mutual respect and compassion.
In fact, we are having so much fun this weekend that we will stay out until tomorrow. Hope that you are having a good weekend too.