My wife is going to have to make some decisions about her mother who is back in the hospital. Her mother is not eating much and not wanting to drink fluids. She becomes dehydrated and needs to be hospitalized. She weighs less than 90 pounds. Dementia has taken over to the extent that she doesn't know who we are and she makes no sense when talking.
We talked about what to do last night.The caregivers who live with her are not skilled nurses. It appears that she qualifies for hospice care at this point. So C. is going to look into that after talking to the doctors. We also talked about having her move to the same nursing home where C.'s dad is, so that they could share a room. On the surface, it seems okay, but this option is one that has some concerns because we wonder whether the staff will spend time trying to get her to eat. She seems beyond what a nursing home could do at this point. And will she be okay being in a room with her husband who was so emotionally abusive to her for years? I wonder about that.
Anyway, that is what we are struggling with today. I am going to see her in the hospital as my wife is still sick from her cold. The lingering of a person whose quality of life is poor is a sad thing to see. Unfortunately, more and more people will be dealing with this as their parents age or they themselves age. The extreme elderly, those who are age 85 and over, are the fastest growing segment of the population. And more than 75 percent of Americans receiving long-term care rely solely on family and friends to provide assistance. It's pretty damn scary.
We both know that there will be a solution. Making the decision for her best interest is what we want.