Monday, January 7, 2013

Resisting change

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." 
— Lao Tzu

One of my favorite and long-time blogging friends, Dave, at Higher Powered has decided to stop his daily blog after 3514 posts.  He was one of the first bloggers that I read when I started. Dave, Mary Christine, Pammie, Scott W., Scout, Meg, Tab, and several others were inspiring to me.  I've said before that blogging is like a community or even a neighborhood.  New people come in, and sometimes the ones who have been around for a long time decide it's time to move on.  I will miss Dave, just as I've missed others who have stopped writing. But like most things, it's flexible.  There are no musts.  I like that.

One of the great things about blogging is that you come through with comments that help me.  Your thoughts about my MIL were helpful and comforting.  I think that Hospice may be the best thing for her. Having the Hospice folks come to her house and work with the caregivers already there will be good.

When I visited her yesterday, I was happy that she knew who I was.   I did get her to eat a little something too.  She has a sense of humor still, telling me that she didn't feel too "Christmasy" yet.  Her speech is impaired so it's hard to understand her.  I photographed her.  I've been doing this over the years but want to capture as much of her as possible.  It feels urgent to do so now.

People come and go in our lives.  Some are with us for decades.  We get used to them being around.  And then, one day they are gone.  I am accepting of that, even though there is some part of me that grieves for the loss, doesn't like the absence, resists changes.

“I give you this to take with you:
Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can
begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting.” 
― Judith Minty


  1. All you can do accept the good days and forget the hard ones.

    Be strong, friend.

  2. it doesnt make it easy...but it is true people come and go...been at this 4 years...and many of the ones i first started with have disappeared and sometimes pop back up to say hi or drop a post....its good to see them...

    glad that she recognized you too...that is encouraging...

  3. Photographing her often and much, especially at this difficult time of her life. Sometimes you can see in her what you can't hear. I miss my early blogging friends, too. Folks come and go in this life. It's good to hold on loosely. :)

  4. It sounds like you are coming to a place of acceptance where your MIL is concerned. I'm happy for you all that she retains a sense of humor. As a person who will be 80 in February I can say that "old age" is much easier when taken with a dash of humor.

  5. Those happier moments are a gift for both you and C and your mother in law. So glad you had the visit with her that you did.

    I am sad, too, that Dave is gone. It's hard - I know people have their reasons. I think the hardest part though is when they take their whole blog away. I know they have reasons but it really leaves a whole. I can understand burnout and needing to stop blogging for various reasons.

    I don't have a blog but I would urge anyone that - unless its absolutely necessary - stop blogging but leave your blog up for awhile. There really are so many readers out there you are helping.

  6. It's lovely that you are taking pictures of your MIL.

  7. I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. What a great idea to take pictures. I took a few of my Aunt before she passed and I would have taken many more if I would have known she had so little time left with us. Luckily, I have them of her and my boys and they were 100% her favorite people to be around so she would always smile.

    My prayers are with you and your Wife during this very difficult time.

  8. People come and go, yes it was hard for me when my grandmother and father died. They both are with me still in memories, the Holidays brings up times we shared together.

  9. Syd, I want to thank you for many things but specifically and right now, I am thanking you for reminding me to take care of myself.
    Thank-you. And I am.

  10. Dave called me on Sunday night to let me know. I cried. It is a big hole in my morning to not read him. You and I were the only people who commented loyally. I think if we want people to stick around, we should let them know we are reading... but you know that. I appreciate your loyalty and consistency - and accountability.

  11. I like your quotes today. They apply to all kinds of situations.

    I also like how you found the good in your visit to your mother-in-law. Those small good things can recharge our batteries for awhile.

  12. Thank you for this post - as shared by others already these quotes apply to many situation and today i find these especially helpful in looking at and accepting my own reality.

  13. Sorry to hear about your MIL, Syd. Eckhart Tolle says that death creates an opening for grace. I like to think that's true.

    There is a crack in everything; that's where the light gets in.

    --Leonard Cohen

  14. We need to stick together, glad that you are still posting! I didn't realize until today that Steve is gone for now.


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