This is a brief post to let you know that I am currently in radar class at Sea School until Wednesday. It is new to me, and the plots are a challenge. For the first time, I feel like quitting because I am tired. But I know that I will stick it out. Whether I do well or not is okay. I don't want to start quitting something now after so many years of not doing that.
I also leave for an Al-Anon convention on Thursday. I can't even think about that now because I am occupied with the radar class. I will think more about what I have committed to do at the convention on Thursday.
And finally, there is now talk among the doctors and nurses at the nursing home to have Pop be part of the Hospice program. He has declined a lot since visiting my MIL. The head nurse thinks that he has given up. The staff were taking him to meals with the other residents because he needed help feeding himself. They took him for a few days until he went into a rage and raked the dishes to the floor and pulled the tablecloth from the table. He was then taken back to his room. Since then, he hasn't been very responsive.
My wife and I are doing well, coping with all of this. I will be glad to have a less crammed time and less drama. I think that the Al-Anon convention will be a big help with that. Now to just get through another day of school......
Thanks for posting, Syd amidst all you and C have going on.
ReplyDeleteI think your Father In Law is sad, scared and feeling vulnerable. I believe there are some folks like him who channel feelings of helplessness and grief into anger so they can maintain a sense of control for themselves. He has to be scared about his wife dying and being the one left behind. Thank heavens you are there for him - as you can be for him. Do the things you need to take care of yourself.
sorry on the FIL...it was quite a blow to him i imagine....enjoy your class...and i know you will the convention, even if it does make for a busy week man...one day at a time...smiles.
ReplyDeleteYou know, there is no shame in admitting that this may not be the time for a certain activity. What you are going through with your in-laws is powerfully energy-consuming.
ReplyDeleteAs you always point out, dear Syd, life is about choices. You can make the ones you know are best for you.
Remember your Al-Anon tools when coping with Pop. Let Go and Let God and the 3 Cs are very applicable here. Enjoy your convention.
ReplyDeleteI like the words "sea school".
ReplyDeleteOh Syd - - - Your blog provides me a vision of the
ReplyDelete'scales of negative and positive' - - - and I can only thank my HP that you are deep within the recovery arms of Al-Anon. There I feel you will find the balance you need to maintain sanity. Thanks for sharing all these things; it was important to me to see and accept the painful actions that happen toward the end of life, and to also find joy in an escape to a happier presence (in the convention) for a few days.
You will be F.I.N.E. - - - - errrr, I mean just great!
Love and hugs,
Anonymous #1
I'm so sorry about your father-in-law and how he is declining. How difficult and sad to have two parents who are ill at the same time. My thoughts are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteTake Care,
Holly
I do best when I can let go of expectations, and live in the moment. The convention sounds wonderful, I hope you have an excellent time.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like Pop is sad. Sadness doesn't always look like we think it should.
ReplyDeleteFiL ain't drama Syd, it's aging.
ReplyDeleteRadar school yeah I remember it well that was my military MOS. Just remember it's all simple geometry and relative course and speed. At least you don't have to learn to write backwards on a plexiglass board so them in front can read it. You do know the next step is learning Air traffic Control right?
I'm glad to hear you are doing well, even if doing well also includes being a bit overwhelmed or faced with time crammed all full of stuff. I hope you have a good time at the convention.
ReplyDeleteSo common for both spouses to end up in Hospice together. I have taken care of many a married couple until they both pass on. Good luck with all you have going on. Radar class must be ridiculously hard if YOU are struggling. Thats how I see it at least. :o)
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you Syd -- your family, especially your parents-in-law will be in my prayers and thoughts this Lent
ReplyDeleteSyd, I am so sorry to hear about "Pop," end of life doesn't seem to be fair or nice sometimes. My father, who was a brilliant man, ended up in a nursing home unable to form a sentence.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a nice break at the convention.