I want to thank all of you for comments about my cousin, R. And I am especially grateful to Mary Christine who offered her suggestion to contact a patient advocate or chaplain. I did just that this morning.
I have been turning my cousin's situation over in my mind and given it to my HP. But the feeling I had this morning when I read Mary Christine's comment was that I needed to make a call. I simply felt it was what I needed to do.
So I called the hospital and talked to my cousin's case worker. I told him what was going on, explained that he had an advance health care directive (AHCD), and waited for him to say something. He told me that he could not give me any information due to HIPPA and that I needed to talk to R's wife. I explained that I wasn't wanting information because I had talked to R's wife many times about him. But what I wanted was to give the hospital information that he does have an AHCD.
It is now out of my hands. I don't feel particularly settled about this. I suppose I was wanting something more than telling me I could talk to an attorney or his wife. But I did what felt right to me. I did what I thought I would want done if I were in a situation of wasting away with sores and tubes. I gave information, and if it is useful so be it.
I will give his wife a call later. And I am going to suggest to her as kindly as I can that she let him go. What she does is not something I can control. I can't have this eating at me anymore.
I am going on the boat for a couple of days, leaving this evening. I will check in with photos of the beautiful weather we are having. Yesterday, it was near 80 here. And the next few days are expected to be equally as beautiful and warm.
Thanks again to you, the blogging community, for the thoughts and comments and love that you put out there. It is much appreciated.