Wednesday, September 10, 2014

On the boat

I have been out on the boat since Tuesday. I taught sailing on Monday evening, spent that night on the boat and left the next morning to make the tide to the island anchorage. The weather has been cooler after so many days with high heat and humidity. Then the rains came for two days, but I decided to leave on Tuesday regardless. I need the water just like I need to breathe. 

I am sitting in the cockpit now with two snoring dogs nearby. Later, I am going to row to shore and take the dogs for a walk on the beach. A lot of erosion has occurred since my last visit. But it's still peaceful and comforting to know that there is a place nearby to enjoy the quiet of a deserted island. The waves are lapping against the hull and the ocean waves are crashing on the far side of the island.
I have lectures to prepare for Monday evening over the next nine weeks. I do enjoy teaching and know that it's good to refresh on information that I haven't studied in some time. I still feel as if there are so many others more qualified than me to teach the course. But I keep telling myself that I was the one asked to teach it and know that I can prepare as well as anyone can. It's my old insecurity that I need to be the "expert" when in fact I remain still a student in my mind. Ah well....i have felt like an imposter for a long time, even at the pinnacle of my career. Old feelings of inadequacy are hard to entirely give up. 

Anyway, I am heading back in tomorrow. I'll ride the mare on Friday. Horseback riding has been fun. I'm enjoying trail rides on her. She is sturdy, beautiful and sweet. I'll end with some photos of her and the dogs. 

6 comments:

  1. I love how you refresh your soul.

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  2. Nice to have the water to go back into to...
    I just began to teach and find that I feel the need to be the expert.
    As i soften with more days of teaching behind me I am learning to also trust
    and turn it over. The students seem to respond more when I am relaxed.
    I like myself more when I am relaxed.

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  3. It's so important to have ones own 'safety net' and 're-charge' button. Considering where you are, the water would be it!
    But how long have you had the mare?

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  4. I so want to learn to sail. One day...

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  5. Oh Syd, what a beautiful life you live. I understand feeling like an imposter. I have no qualifications other than real life experience in my work. I receive phone calls from people asking for help as their loved one dies and they only want me to come.....ha! a co-dependents dream! LOL and I have to say no, because there simply aren't enough hours and I feel like a phony! Im nice to people. Thats it. I'm not the only one who can walk with someone at the end. And I'm certainly not the best. Good....but not the best. lol

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  6. I have the same insecurity no matter how much I learn syd.. glad to see that you are having time to process away from it all with the dogs.. very impressed that you are so consistent in posting.. haven't found login on the old puter so not logged in.. anyway good to see you posting and wishing you both well.. irish ie ifob

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