Saturday, October 4, 2014

Released this morning from all pain

During the darkest, most terrifying time of my life, an older man took my calls 24/7, helped me to think through my choices before acting rashly, listened to the rage and heartbreak that seemed bottomless, met with me when I was melting down, occasionally reminded me to get off my pity pot, and loved me fiercely through it all. He was fond of saying that he was a 19 year old spirit trapped in a broken-down body. This morning, he was released from that broken-down body. I am so happy for him, that his suffering is ended. But, I will miss him terribly. I have saved the emails and even the voice messages on my phone.  And I can read or listen to those to recall his presence.  And his voice remains in my head, recalling the last time I talked to him.

Today, in celebration of my friend's life, I will do my best to seize the day, even though my back is in agony this morning.  I will remind myself that memories are made of small things as well as those occasions that are momentous. I will be grateful instead of stuck in fear or impatience.  I know that my friend is part of a great energy swirling around.  We came together out of a connection, felt deep inside.  And that connection we felt has made me aware of how much joy and gratitude I have in my life.  Rest easy, my friend.


  1. He is free....and flying. And he helped to free you. What a gift and a miracle. I have been that recipient too. Peace to you today, Syd.

  2. I am so glad he is free from his pain but I am also so grateful that you took his lessons and applied it to your life Syd. So many people hear the words but don't really listen but you are different because you wanted to be better. My heart is full when I think of what your friend did for you and probably others. May we learn from him and try to do the same. Take care of yourself dear one.

  3. Beautiful words, Syd. What a wonderful world we live in that such connections can be made.
    I will think of him today, as I go about my own life which is so precious to me. I will think of you, too, and wonder how these connections are made and I will be glad.

  4. What a legacy he left behind in you, Syd. And you are doing the same for others and so it goes....

  5. An online hug and soft word is all I can offer. I am sorry friend, may each of us be lucky enough to find a soul like the one you lost.

  6. What a loving and powerful relationship you had and will continue to have with your friend. Love is truly what we are made of and it will continue. Blessings to you and him.

  7. I'm sorry you lost your friend and mentor. But I also felt like you when my father-in-law died from cancer last summer -- I was relieved he was free from the pain while still sad he had to go.

  8. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Syd. How fortunate you were to have been a part of each other's lives. May his memory live on!

  9. just read the last post...and i am glad he was released...and just think of the impression he left on your life...and live on paying that out to the next...until you meet again...

  10. Yesss, paying it out to a "next"...these connections are no accident. Loss is real and is felt deeply by some...and you, Syd. The void must be filled in time with whatever God reveals (possibly even a slight suggestion by a stranger!)..and GOD WILL show you--us. We only have to remain vigilant.

    Happy for you and for your mentor that his suffering has ended. Miss him, and be sad. Later--day, week, or month?--ask him what he would like you to do now. SO CAREFUL WITH YOUR BACK PLEASE. You KNOW how debilitating that can be.

    Blessings, Syd.

  11. Rumi says:

    On the day I die, don’t say he’s gone. Death has nothing to do with going away.

    The sun sets, and the moon sets but they’re not gone.

    Death is a coming together.

    The human seed goes down into the ground like a bucket,

    and comes up with some unimagined beauty.

    Your mouth closes here, and immediately opens

    with a shout of joy there.

  12. I'm sure that your friendship was as crucial for him as for you and it must have been a great comfort to him to have you there at the end. I, too, believe that he is now resting in peace.


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