Monday, April 23, 2007


Last night's discussion was on attitude. I've generally always had a positive attitude but there have been many times that I've had to fake it or react. Those were the dark times when things were going downhill and my SO's attitude really was bad. I let my attitude at that time be dictated by another person. When she was in a bad mood and angry, then I was also angry. Sometimes I would try to be cheerful, but I really felt wounded and dead on the inside.

I never really understood until coming into Al-Anon that I alone had control over my attitude. It is up to me to be as miserable or as cheerful as I want to be. I've found that by thinking about something positive even when there is a lot of turmoil, I can get myself out of a bad place so much quicker than I did before. What I shared at the meeting was that if I take my own inventory and not that of the other person, then I can see which dark place I'm heading towards and get out. Last night, a lady came up to me after the meeting and said that she was always glad to see me because I seemed to enjoy life so much. She had been fairly down in her sharing at the meeting. It seems that what I project can not only be helpful to me but appears to rub off on others. In short, I'm getting back what I project.


  1. Awesome post!
    I still struggle at wishing more people around me would adopt my outlook to be positive but that is all part of my stuff to let go of I realize...but
    Thanks for sharing ~

  2. attitude is tricky sometimes.. infact I am in the process of adjusting mine as I type... LOL I love this post, I knew if I blogged I would read something I needed to hear.

    Happy Monday Syd

  3. I just try to keep my attitude real...adopt nothing, pretend nothing, stay in gratitude and keep trying to grow. I spent too many years I am in acceptance of being here now and leting God be in charge. Sounds like He is using you to do some good work.

  4. I tend to have a positive attitude, but I like what Meg says about keeping it real. There's nothing worse than forcing a positive attitude. Mine comes from a place where I really believe there has to be a better way versus a spackling over of "everything is just fine." It's all perspective.

    Great observations, Syd. It's good you're learning not to be just F.I.N.E.

    (p.s. The Stand is my fave Stephen King book, but all 3 times I read it, I contracted strep throat. I also was convinced I could do something about the Walkin' Dude - he was maybe misunderstood. Maybe the fact that I didn't have a prostate made me less scared than I should have been. Plus, I thought Nadine was self-centered and weak. I have a few issues.)

  5. We CANNOT subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, p? BB
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as WE are" by ? Cant remember..

    I think reality is very ? flexible. Whatever I focus on increases. For me 'real' IS joyous. I love monks because they radiate SO much joy, and they are REALLY real. More real than I'll ever be.
    I have learnt to distrust my perception so much that I doubt anything it tells me that reinforces anything negative or detrimental. All the senior teachers I have met radiate joy, so I believe THAT to be a truly wise and 'all seeing' perspective. I trust their perception because I KNOW they see more than I do.
    Besides I can so easily become negative that I just don't have faith in that view as an impartial perception. I think it is skewed and colored.
    But that's just my view. Whatever.
    Regarding feeling good and the benefits it brings others, I always say to people 'What's good for you is good for EVERYBODY else', as SO many people think 'service' is some kind of do-goody martyr-ish thing. Which it isnt. Yes it involves work and self sacrifice, but we benefit HUGELY from those actions so it never really feels like giving something up. Service feels like receiving to me. Anyway being wonderfully content and good humored, is a HUGE act of service to those we come into contact with. Our comfortable presence REALLY helps them. I just don't buy the 'martyr-ish' view of service at all. Its a life enhancing choice.

  6. I am married to a normie. The other day he made a comment about how he could never understand how someone's mood could dictate the mood of another. He literally can not fathom that....jeeze sometimes his "wellness" is irritating ;)

  7. I am usually a positive person but I sure to have my days that I like to roll in self pity .. great post!


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