Last night's discussion was on attitude. I've generally always had a positive attitude but there have been many times that I've had to fake it or react. Those were the dark times when things were going downhill and my SO's attitude really was bad. I let my attitude at that time be dictated by another person. When she was in a bad mood and angry, then I was also angry. Sometimes I would try to be cheerful, but I really felt wounded and dead on the inside.
I never really understood until coming into Al-Anon that I alone had control over my attitude. It is up to me to be as miserable or as cheerful as I want to be. I've found that by thinking about something positive even when there is a lot of turmoil, I can get myself out of a bad place so much quicker than I did before. What I shared at the meeting was that if I take my own inventory and not that of the other person, then I can see which dark place I'm heading towards and get out. Last night, a lady came up to me after the meeting and said that she was always glad to see me because I seemed to enjoy life so much. She had been fairly down in her sharing at the meeting. It seems that what I project can not only be helpful to me but appears to rub off on others. In short, I'm getting back what I project.