Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Meeting after the meeting


Prior to going to the Al-Anon meeting last night, I went for a walk on the beach and was thinking about how solitary I was feeling. It wasn't exactly self-pity, but it was getting there. I pulled myself out of that slippery slope by thinking about the sunset and how nice it was to be on a virtually deserted beach, yet not alone at all with the evidence of so much natural life surrounding me.

So I went to the meeting and the topic was expectations. The sharing was good and I got a lot out of the meeting. There was a newcomer sitting next to me who seemed very glad to be at the meeting and shared her thoughts on the topic. A person from one of the other Al-Anon meetings that I attend was also there and seemed glad to see me. And there was a fellow who I can identify with because his wife is an active alcoholic. He shared that he would be going home to a drunk and that he really didn't have much to look forward to. So, after the meeting, I did something that I've wanted to do for a while. I asked several individuals standing around if they wanted to go to a nearby restaurant and have coffee.

Surprisingly, the newcomer, the fellow with the alcoholic wife, and the regular from the other meeting I attend jumped at the chance. Several others said that they thought that it was a great idea and would do it next week. I've always thought that the Al-Anon folks are much less social than the AA gang. After an Al-Anon meeting, things clear out quickly while the AA's stand around, talk, drink coffee, or go out to eat. I've always heard that the Meeting after the Meeting can be a great opportunity to get to know people, share if you want, and just have a good time in a social setting. Everyone seemed to enjoy the get together and the newcomer seemed so pleased to be asked. She said that it made her feel welcomed.

I think that this first step at being sociable worked well. Who knows, maybe we'll have another Meeting after the Meeting next week.

4 comments:

  1. cool. the bit after the meeting is the best bit. I went to one this morning after a early city meeting which I manage to combine with a 5mile run. kill two birds with one stone! i get a double whammy of endorphins and an aa high! i love sitting in coffee places at 8.30 in the morning with alkies. there's another early morning one across town that's supposed to be really upbeat which I can combine with a 10mile run which I'd like to get to later. ! we shall see if i ever manage that distance!
    It really is 'the pub with no beer.' i have always needed to do the meeting after the meeting to get to know people. it very difficult to get to know them just from seeing them in meetings. i always prefer ones where they go out after. but good for you for taking the initiative and a risk. its always a bit scary asking does anyone want to go, but its worth it.

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  2. funny....you went from feeling solitary to making a difference in someone(S) else's life in a matter of hours.....maybe you still felt solitary, but you put the feelings "to work" . I'm thinking I like you.......

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  3. OOOH I sooo love the meeting after the meeting. I remember in early recovery how important the fellowship and going to coffee afterward was... right on Syd... lucky you to be by a beach... I wanna be by one... :)

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  4. The meeting after the meeting is definitely where it's at (pardon the grammar).

    I used to attend an Al-Anon meeting in the room next to an AA meeting, and I would feel so sad when I would hear the raucous laughter from the AA room and wonder what I was missing.

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