The administrators are the ones that I take inventory on. It is difficult for me to step back and feel peaceful around controlling, manipulative, and unhappy people. As my sponsor says, it takes one to know one. I find that when there is micromanagement, I become defensive and feel that I have to justify and answer all the inane questions being asked. In short, I resent being controlled. One of the classic examples of micromanagement is when "Bob" starts wandering the hallways at 4:30 to make sure no one has left work before 5. Or he questions what you are taking your sick leave for, pretending to care about your health. Or he enjoys being in everyone's business. Or he calls staff without Ph.D.'s "lower level" and rarely gives any positive comments, unless somehow it is reflected back on him. After having been at my job for 28 years, I'm seeing a drastic demoralization of staff since "Bob" took over.
So what I find is that I've got to let my resentment go. I decided to do a special fourth step inventory around "Bob". By taking my own inventory, I was able to determine that:
1. I'm okay with the work that I do and know that I do a good job.
2. I can't fix him but I can defuse his behavior and its effect on me.
3. I will focus my energy where it needs to be: on my work and not on the micromanager or his behavior.
4. I will stay calm and not get agitated. Essentially, I'll practice kindness and not let the controlling behavior take root in me.
5. I will keep in mind that the control freak has a compulsive behavior that isn't personally directed at me.
6. I do have an option to just excuse myself and take a brief "time out" for myself. I can protect myself by mentally or physically "leaving the field".
Here is a bit of humor on the situation:
The world is full of idiots. Of course, you don't need me to tell you that. Look around. They're everywhere--in the next cubicle at work, on the highways as you drive home, and probably hiding out in your own house as well. Just think how easy your life would be if the people around you would just use their heads for once and do what they're supposed to do.
Dream on. While you're at it you might want to think about what you'll do when you win the lottery.
The rest of us have an existential question to ponder. How do we do our jobs and live our lives in a world where most of the people are idiots who cant be counted on to do what they should? Your answer to this question will, in large part, determine how effective you are in your job and how happy you are in your life. Here are some options to consider:
Get mad -- The idiots certainly deserve it. If it weren't for (put the name of your favorite idiot here) your life would be so much easier and more productive. Of course if it weren't for gravity, you could fly, too.
Get even -- The advantage of this strategy is its utter simplicity. You don't have to be very smart to use it, in fact, chimpanzees are quite capable of grasping the concept. What they miss is the law of physics that states “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”’ The psychology can be stated in this simple equation: Get mad, get even, get retaliation.
Help the poor fools by explaining what they're doing wrong -- This is how people get even without admitting it to themselves. Some may actually believe they are doing a kindness by showing people the error of their ways. There is a special place in the afterlife reserved for the holier than thou, and it's a lot warmer than they expect.
Nag -- People may change in response to nagging, but they seldom change in the way you want. Keep trying; you may be able to convince yourself that you've done everything you can, but since the fools just wont listen, whatever happens to them is their own damn fault.
Go on Oprah and talk about your favorite idiot -- You can also call in and tell Rush; I'm sure they'll be interested. Other people who cant do anything may sympathize as well. Remember, the more you repeat the story, the better it gets.
don't say anything to the idiots themselves but think about them all the time -- This is the way people create stress related physical symptoms for themselves. The idiots around you wont listen, but maybe your doctor will.
Give up because you cant do anything anyway -- Depression strikes someone every ten seconds. The minute you give up, the next victim could be you.
Learn how to share the planet with the competency-challenged --You are never going to make idiots into smart, responsible people like you. The best you can hope for is to keep control of your own life and not give it to them by letting their problems push your buttons.
Can you imagine how miserable life would be if every idiot had the power to make you miserable?
by Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.
by Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D.