Monday, May 21, 2007

Life at home

I've heard from my SO every day which has been very nice. I think that it helps to get away for a bit and think over things. I have found myself wishing that I could talk to her and put my arms around her. Even though things aren't necessarily at their peak right now, when there's a lot of history in a relationship, it means something regardless of the past. It means that we are friends and have been a touchstone for each other. It also means that there are a lot of feelings wrapped up in the relationship. Thankfully, those feelings are positive right now. I've always respected her and her opinions. They have been fairly given and in spite of the negativism that alcohol can bring into a relationship, she has never held back when I've asked her advice. It will be good to be able to actually talk again rather than just relying on email.

The other news from home came in the form of a distinctly distant email from a friend who I used to do a lot of things with. I had emailed him to tell him what was going on out here. We used to hang out a lot together but when I revealed that things weren't so great at home, we drifted apart. I think that the apartness was partially due to the fact that he had a hard time with the notion that we weren't the perfect couple. Also, there was a lot of judgement about my thoughts on continuing the marriage in its current state. Without going into a lot of useless detail, let's just say that the email stated that he was surprised to hear from me since he thought that I would want to completely disconnect from land. Anyway, the tone was distant and disinterested. It's okay because I know that things won't be the same between us. I guess that I've continued to include him in on activities but he hasn't with me. Maybe his expectations of me were greater than I could ever fulfill.

I've heard that we are going to make a port call in Key West at 1800 on Wednesday. I think that everyone is looking forward to that. Well, it's blowing 25-30 knots now and seas are expected to build to 8 feet by evening. We are rechecking all our lashings. Thinking of all of you and hoping that this message finds you grateful, peaceful, and filled with hope for the day.


  1. I second what johno said--stay safe.
    Check your email for an update from me.
    Love to you, Syd,

  2. Wow - Iam turning green just at the thought of 8 foot well and enjoy your port call. Keep the faith on love and marriage its never easy but it sounds like you have a good friendship as foundation. My husband lives in PA and I in Long Island NY for now...decisions based on work and quality of life. He's my best friend and needs my support this time around.
    Blessings your way

  3. Syd, Didn't know the sea could get that rough. You could compare the sea to relationships...sometimes its calm and sometimes, rough!
    I've had some relationships (friends) that I've had to let go...I guess you just hit that fork in the road, and know its over, or it will never be the same again, and maybe it was meant to be. There's a time to move on, and a time to let go. People do change..and grow apart..or maybe we just don't live up to each other's expectations anymore and some friendships have just run their course.
    Some relationships have grown so toxic, it's better to just let them go...and know there are new relationships on the horizon.
    Safe sailing.

  4. Port call = bar time.

    I can't help but smile at the comments about an 8 foot sea.

  5. 8 ft swells? Frankly put, I'd be barfin over the side. Tie down the man plant, give him a kiss from me, and stay safe.

  6. I have never sailed on a boat like the one you are on. The views and stuff sound amazing, but I'd probably be racing Meg to the side!
    Have a good time at your port...

  7. I have absolutely no concept of what that would feel like - either the seas or the marriage. Enjoy.

  8. I have excellent memories of Key West, except that my husband kept wanting to shoot the roosters that run the streets.
    I love the word "lashings"...don't know why.

  9. Sounds like a great adventure.

  10. "lashings" keeping it clean. brings back memories of Enid blyton Famous Five... lashings of ginger beer... sorry gone well off topic

  11. The relationship with your friend may be just a blip or an adjustment that needs time to be made. My best friend and I (or maybe me more than him) have had to go through an adjustment since I got sober. I started seeing so many things differently - and for awhile I was a little mentally off-the-wall - that our friendship took a beating for a couple months. I think he and I are finally getting back on track, but it's been a good six to 8 months.

    Anyway, depending on the friendship, give it time and he may come around. My friend just calls me "spaz". I guess it all works out.


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