Thursday, June 14, 2007

Crashed

My hard drive crashed at work. It not only took a nose dive but it literally jumped off Mt. Everest. No other computers even recognize that it exists so the IT staff are sending it off to an outfit that can hopefully work magic and get back all of my files. We have a back up system but for some reason only a part of my hard drive was backed up. Like the commercial says, "Life comes at you fast".

Now that I'm back on land and this has happened, I'm ready to get back to sea. Maybe I'm running. That's a possibility for sure. Just not wanting to face up to a lot of things right now. I've got that restless feeling that tells me that I'm not fitting into my own skin well and something is eating at me. Maybe it's feeling overwhelmed from being back. Maybe it's being tired still. Maybe it's the damn hard drive. Maybe it's my relationship with my SO. Maybe it's because I did a draft outline for my anniversary sharing. For whatever reason, I'm not accepting life on life's terms very well today.

I'm not sure where the unrest is coming from, just that it's there. I feel as if I have unfinished business that I need to complete and things that need to be put right in my soul. I know that my internal hard drive isn't broken entirely. I'm hoping that it just needs a reboot.

13 comments:

  1. And as I just said to Kel, this too shall pass. Just ride it out. All will be well.

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  2. nah. i reckon its step 5 messing with your brain. best to ignore what gremlin-ish ideas it comes up with till the step5 is well and truly DONE.
    it'll pass. dont you worry..

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  3. Maybe you just need a reboot too ?
    Here's wishing you a speedy reconnection to your serenity :)

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  4. A couple of meetings and some fellowship with others just like you will do the trick.

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  5. I hear your frustration and restlessness. I feel that way, too, sometimes. Like I need to connect, but not sure to what or how.

    Hang in there!

    Peace out!
    Kari

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  6. Feelings can be big deceivers. Progress doesn't always feel good.

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  7. Turmoil is a consistent constant, it is the one thing that is certain in life. Hang in there, surrender and ride it out. Smooth pastures will reappear.

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  8. wishing you peace.....at your own pace

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  9. M.C. is right, progress does not always feel good. Hang in there and get to a meeting

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  10. When I get like that...I just keep doing what I know works UNTIL it works again.

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  11. Could it be your dog, Syd?
    Peace,
    Scout

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  12. Damn, Syd, I love this post. Great analogy to the crashed computer. And I really can commisserate with the restless feelings. When I get like this, which seems like often, I try to sit quietly with myself and listen. Or I go get a massage. :p

    My therapist keeps reminding me I don't need to DO anything, I just have to BE. Sometimes that works for me. Sometimes I still feel like I should be making the earth move to change for the better.

    Clarity will probably hit you when you least expect it.

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  13. I hear you loud and clear. Somedays I feel like I want out of here! And somedays there is no other place I want to be.
    Winston Churchill said..When you're going through Hell, just keep going.

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.