Thursday, June 7, 2007

Life's Choices

I was talking to a good friend on the ship. He thinks that it's time that he decides what he wants to do with his life. At 44 years old, he works as an AB on the ship. He's worked on tugboats for several years before being on here. Before that there were "lost" years though that took him in a downward spiral from which he thankfully escaped from over 16 years ago. When I listen to what he says, I think that he has these dreams that may or may not be fulfilled. He really wants to be a tugboat captain which is attainable if you can pass all the tests. I know that he has the intelligence, but he has a hard time with testing. He said that a career would make him successful in terms of American expectations. I really hope that his dreams are fulfilled and for the right reasons.

Too many of us have dreams that are a result of what others want and expect us to do. I have spent the greater part of my life trying to please others, achieving because that was a way to fill the emptiness. Now, I just am pleasing my self. Maybe the difference is that I have achieved and after all is said and done, I wasn't any happier. Now, I'm happy because I don't have to prove anything. I've done what I need to do and can look forward to doing what I want to do. That's a neat position to be in.


  1. And yet another cool photo from you!
    I'm loving it. Keep them coming!
    I know what you mean about achieving and doing stuff you thought others wanted you to do. That's the reason I managed to get 2 degrees and go to Grad school while maintaining an active addiction.
    Thank G-d I have the freedom to just be whoever I figure out I am now! It's a huge weight off my shoulders.
    Peace and Love to just who you are, Syd,

  2. Oh boy, Scout. We really are twins. I got an MBA in finance that I have absolutely no interest in using (from a freaking Ivy League school no less... still paying the damn loans. So much for being much use at finance, lmao) because my parents said that it would be something I would never regret. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I love my blogging friends. I am so filled with gratitude to have you a part of my life. Although recovery makes it possible for me to feel like I can make the choice for me, it is awesome to be accepted for those choices by people I have come to admire so greatly.

    Another great post, Syd.

  3. Syd,
    Being a people-pleaser and always trying to prove yourself can be very trying on the soul. Women are good at it.
    It's great that you're learning at a young age that happiness comes from within.
    When people try to please others all the time,no wonder they walk around with a hole in their heart that they just can't fill.
    You always write thought-provoking posts.
    Have a great weekend!

  4. I love the thought of you doing what you want to do. The picture on the boat flying though the water gave me the idea that might be what I want to do. I love to live vicariously through others. Especially when its just exactly what they love to do. Happy trails.

  5. no vicariousrising pun intended :+]

  6. that is a GREAT place to be....many people never do get there. We are the lucky ones who are content to KEEP IT SIMPLE

  7. I'm 45 years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up but I'm clean and I'm sober and I manage to pay the bills. Hey! Life is anyway.

  8. You kick ass dude..Yeap..We have gots to gots to live for ourselves first and foremost.Just took some of us a long time to realize that.
    I just got to finishing up banging on my too late to be true to one's self..
    creatively and otherwise :)
    Great post and Picture Syd..
    Thanks again for all you share here..!

  9. What a great position to be in! After all these years, I am just beginning to live life on my own terms. Its scary but wonderful.

  10. I still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up", LOL! But I'm all about enjoying who you are today! Love ya!

  11. As always, a beautiful and thought provoking post... Who is the guy in the pic?


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