For the last few days, I've been doing something that I did when I was a child. I've gotten down on my knees to pray. My prayer is basically the same as when I was a child--I pray for my HP to help me to help myself.
I remember those nights of desperation when I was so confused and sad as a kid. I would pray over and over for strength and courage so that I could help fix myself. I would pray for my family and that they would be happy. Later, I stopped praying regularly and would only pray during those days when things at home were particularly bad. I've also prayed selfish prayers that I know now were not appropriate.
Last week when I got down on my knees for the first time in decades, it felt awkward, as if I were an actor in a movie. My mind was telling me that I was a fake. But I said the Serenity Prayer and then took some deep breaths and said what I needed to say: "Help me to help myself and watch over those that I love that they may find peace and joy in their lives. I am in need of guidance and strength as I continue this journey of life. Be my guide, my strength and my salvation."
After these words left me, I felt very peaceful and content. My mind was clear of agitation. I am seeing the power of this humble act and how it can change who I am and what I feel.