Sunday, August 5, 2007
I had a nice day today. I celebrated my first year in Al-Anon in the evening and in the morning got to wake up after sunrise and go for a swim to the nearby beach. It was a hot day today but the morning was cool and the water felt great. I like to walk the beach naked. It's deserted early and if someone starts to show up in a boat, I can just get in the water and then swim to the sailboat. It's a nice way to start off the day. By this afternoon though, the breeze had died down and I motored back to the marina. It's was also very hot.
I went to the group where I attended my first Al-Anon meeting and shared my life story there. It was actually not hard at all, although I don't particularly like being the center of attention. One of my friends from another meeting came which was nice. My sponsor gave me my chip and a card signed by the other members of the group. I asked at the end that people talk about their defining moment for being in the program. I was surprised that so many people came over to say that they always get something out of what I share. That was kind of them.
Interestingly enough, the dominatrix asked for a copy of what I wrote and also asked me how I got so smart in one year. I told her that I was born that way and also worked at my program. I don't think that I'll provide a copy of what I wrote. I don't know why but I have a feeling that her asking for it doesn't have much to do with her thinking that it was good. Just a gut feeling that always seems to have an uncanny way of being right on.
On this day, which is all that I have, I am in a far better place than I was a year ago. Instead of being in anguish, I have joy and know that I have choices. Instead of apartness, I’ve made new friends. Instead of feeling empty, I have gratitude and a spiritual guide. Instead of anger, I feel a great deal of peace. Instead of fakery, I feel strong and able to be me. I'm so glad that I have a sponsor who has been a guide to me in this program. Someone who is genuinely good and who practices the steps in all affairs. That's a great accomplishment and a good goal to strive for.