Sunday, September 16, 2007

First GR meeting, the steps and the weekend

I went to the first GR meeting yesterday. There were some people that I knew and others that I was glad to meet. It seemed like any other club meeting with motions and voting. Not bad at all actually. I was sorry that one of the groups that I attend regularly didn't have a GR there. It's a large meeting with regularly around 30+ people attending so they do need to be represented in the district. I'm going to see if I can't recruit some one on Tuesday evening when I go to the meeting.

Today was spend out on Compass Rose. It was much cooler and blustery. Great sailing weather and the local university was hosting a regatta in the Harbor so I could watch them negotiate the course. It was really picture perfect today--blue skies, low humidity, clear and cool. My kind of weather. I got home too late to go to the 8 PM meeting but hopefully will be able to pick up an extra meeting this week.

I've been listening to another Step Study on my IPod. The speaker is a character, been in prison and murders the grammar but he makes a lot of sense when doing the steps according to the directions in the Big Book. He is a strong believe in doing things according to the facts of the book. He says that there is nothing in the book about waiting a year before doing the steps or going to 90 meetings in 90 days, or not having a relationship within the first year. None of that is pertinent according to this guy because it isn't written in the book.

My SO has a sponsor who insists that she wait at least a year before doing the steps because the brain is too scrambled in the first year to do anything. The guy that I'm listening to on the step study states that there is great danger in delaying because it is through the steps that real recovery begins. I won't tell my SO how to work her program but can pray and hope that she will see the need to begin the steps. Actually, she really only needs to do Step 3 and Step 5 with another person, and that person doesn't have to be her sponsor. I really hope that things will move forward for her.

I'm tired now and it's a good tired feeling from being on the water. I've looked back over my day and can't find anything that was wrong with it. That's a rare and good day indeed.


  1. i can understand why one shouldn't made or break a relationship within the first year. i'm a dependent person, and can pass my substance addiction onto a person addiction quite easily. maybe that's why??? although, would this be more difficult to do the 2nd year round? don't know...

  2. yeah I don't wait a year. The types I know would drink if they did. Waay too much stinking thinking. Having said that, some people are FULL of BS at the beginning, so yeah, any attempt at the steps will only glance at the truth, but I see that as poor quality sponsorship. I have developed a more confrontational style which makes it nigh on impossible for Sponsees to delude themselves or me about their past. Its a very ego puncturing method, but all are emphatically grateful for the 'reality check' afterward. So yeah. I would go with the guy on the tape. But a badly handled attempt at the steps, doesn't work long term either. I was advised to get a 'big book' sponsor, as members use so many ! variations these days. BUt yeah. it is the steps that get people well. Not attendance at AA meetings. Meetings re full of people that attend regularly yet crave a drink or relapse, so it is clearly not the meetings alone which prevent people from relapse.
    Its very difficult not to be a control freak with others recovery. I regularly have to watch others suffer predictable problems when they (against my advice) choose sponsors who are not very through in my opinion. Its just one of those things. I find there is not much good sponsorship out there in the main. But your SO has her own higher power, and her own destiny.

  3. I think your SO is lucky to have you and whether SHE decides to do it b4 the year or after, you will be there with her for each step. That is really the bottom line. She is trying and you are supporting her efforts! Sounds like a win/win to me!

  4. I enjoyed your comments. I have the terms "Big Book Step Study" as a Google alert, and one of your posts was crawled.

    I have been through the steps as they are laid in the Big Book with the help of God and a Big Book Step Study Sponsor.

    My change was deep, profound , fundemental and most importantly freeing. Free from myself where my problem is centered.


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