Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Puff of smoke

Last night I read my amends to my sponsor and a friend at my home group. We were in a cemetery at the old church where the meeting is held. It's a peaceful place with many old live oak trees.

The letters that I read were those that I had written to my parents and a couple of other relatives. After reading, I put each letter in a pot and my sponsor set fire to each one. We watched the smoke rise up and waft about on the wind. For my parents, the smoke seemed to surround me. It was cathartic and freeing.

I also called someone with whom I'd had a disagreement with a couple of years ago. This person was pleased that I had called and was shocked that I offered an apology for my behavior. It felt good to set something right that had gone so wrong. I'm working my way through my list of people to whom I will make amends. Some of these will have to wait until the time is right. I believe that I'll know when the right time occurs.


  1. the promises come true for all of us after the ninth. We will be amazed before we are halfway thru.
    Its good to feel so free, huh

  2. everybody makes mistakes, biut not everybody do something to correct them. That show character.

  3. cool. sounds like a really nice step 9 so far. yeah people just seem to show up at step 9 that we havent seen for AGES. it just all seems to work out really..

  4. Are you amazed yet? Are you more than half way through? Great work!

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  6. wow. that's so moving.

    when i went to the therapist (before rehab) i had to write a letter to myself, the child me, from the grown up me, of how i felt about everything that happened in my life, and after that there was also this ceremony of taking the letter and, all in my mind, going to church and having a funeral and burial service for this little girl, to get say goodbye and to be able to move on. and that was tremendously enlightning.

    i can just image the relief and freedom you must have felt doing what you did here.


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