Maybe it's because the "stuff" has been in the family for generations. Maybe it's the love for the property where we live. The house is filled with family heirlooms. I also have all of my mother's papers and my father and uncle's memorabilia from their seagoing days. I also have to consider my beloved pets.
It surprised me that updating a will would bring up a lot of emotions. One of them was fear of loss of my wife. I've lost my parents and still grieve them. Loss of someone with whom I've spent most of my life is hard to contemplate. And I feel the guilt surrounding our relationship in which I'm now spending time doing things that I like. Am I being too selfish in recovery?
The other emotion was one of self-pity that revolved around whether anyone would miss me when I die. Would anyone care? What am I going to be remembered for? What have I done to make the world better or to help others?
Contemplating one's mortality is never easy. I think that the best thing I can do is make plans for the inevitable. But also believe that I can't get stuck in wondering about the future. Instead I'm much better off just being the best that I can be today. Then everything will fall into place.
"Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day."