Friday, March 14, 2008

A Silda by any other name...

Might be me or you. I can't seem to get the face of Silda Wall Spitzer out of my head. (If you haven't read the story then here it is or at least one of many in the last few days.) It was a face that had a great deal of pain on it, standing there in front of the reporters and cameras and next to her husband as he read his resignation. I've read that Mrs. Spitzer is an educated woman, an attorney who gave up her legal career to raise a family. I've read that she is (was?) her husband's confidante and advisor. And now what I'm reading on her face is a great deal of sadness.

Evidently seeing her standing by her husband triggered pain within me: An embarrassment underneath a stoic face during some of those WTF moments that happen when you live with an alcoholic. It's the type of feeling that I used to get when I wanted desperately for things to be okay at home and tried to put on a brave face to the world. It's a feeling of fakery and dishonesty. It's a sick, sad feeling.

I was well aware of my own role as "victim" sliding into my thinking when I saw Silda Wall Spitzer. I wanted to hug her and tell her that she was brave to be there. And I also wanted to say that when all was said and done, I hoped that she would do what she needed to do to take care of herself. In the end, I hope that Silda keeps the focus on herself and stands up for herself.


  1. I saw her face as well...sad, miserable, lonely and I wanted so badly to see her give her husband a nice punch to the head in front of all the camera's.
    I am sick of all these wives accepting bravely and standing by their adulterous husbands. Just for once I'd like to see one woman show her true feelings.

  2. i don't know who ms. spitzer is, but what you describe and those feeling you described about how you desperately wanted everything to be okay and put on a brave face, now that i know all too well. and that's all it was - desperate. 'cause you (i) knew it wasn't and wouldn't be until you (i) did something about it...... i know that too well...

  3. The human existence is such that we all arrive at the same place at one time or another in life, just travel there by different means...

  4. glad you posted this on my blog from Tolle book "My pain isn't going to kill me, even though I may think it will"


    have a great weekend!!

  5. I have faith that Silda will be fine. From all accounts, she is intelligent and she has done a splendid job of standing with the father of her children in this moment... but I bet she won't for long.

  6. Just trying to gain my equalibrium this a.m. by reading.

    Yesterday, i made a visit to the treatment center/sober living to surprise my x with something nice. We were trying to work things out with now that he is sober.

    Imagine my surprise to arrive in time to see him pull up in his car with a young woman- probably 15 years his junior -- also another 'patient' at the center.

    We all know our own and it was obvious to me that they were 'together'.

    You should have seen his face.

    Master of the obvious, I had to ask 'is this your girl-friend'? He said, 'i don't know what she is'

    There's an understatement.

    But he did know that he has 7 1/2 months and she has 3 1/2 months.

    It was a long ride home for me.


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