Friends through amends

Yesterday afternoon I received a call from the first person I made an amends to. The story of our friendship isn't remarkable. We had a lot of good times together and then egos got in the way of things.

I had mentored him on a project. In subsequent years, he began his own work. And when he asked for my opinion on something that he was doing, I gave it. He didn't like the answer and let me know it. I harbored a resentment about what was said and basically dropped communication for a couple of years.

So when I made the amends, he said that he had missed the friendship and the fun times that we had. So yesterday, he called to ask me to meet him for dinner since he was in town on business. We got together and had a lot of laughs. It was great to be able to talk about what we are doing now and what plans we each have. He is continuing on with his business, and I'm planning to retire in a couple of years. It was a nice few hours spent in comraderie.

It's great how this program works: to put aside bad feelings and step up to a resolution of our differences. And by doing the amends, a different bond is made and a new knowledge is gained.

"We must be willing to make amends to all the people we have harmed. We must do the best we can to repair the damage done in the past. When we make amends, when we say: 'I'm sorry,' the person is sure at least to be impressed by our sincere desire to set right the wrong. Sometimes people we are making amends to admit their own faults, so feuds of long standing melt away. Our most ruthless creditors will sometimes surprise us. In general, we must be willing to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences may be for us." --Twenty-four Hours a Day