Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Heroin Diaries

I tried to read the Heroin Diaries which is a book by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. The book recounts a dark year in the life of the Motley Crue bandleader/bassist.

Sixx has promoted the book in a diary format with the idea that it will help others to avoid the hell that he went through. I found the book contrived and disturbing. Contrived because it seems that the entries were made "after the fact" and were done as a type of remembrance of those dark days. Regardless of that, it still seemed that there is glamorization of his drug abuse and the depravity of his lifestyle.

I got through about 30 pages and had to stop reading it. It seemed to repeat the same sex, drugs and rock and roll theme over and over. I found the whole scene to be too much. Maybe it's because it was written by Sixx when he was still using (or maybe not). I was hoping the diary entries would be followed by recovery and coping but it was only about how messed up he was. I guess that I was looking for solutions and not a day by day shoot up party. It reminded me of a very long-winded drunkalog that has no recovery included. After a while, I just feel sick and have heard enough. I'm going to read Tweak next. Maybe I'll be able to get through it.


  1. I felt the same way about The HD.
    A sensational,look at the crazy rock star account.
    I just finished Tweak, and I think it rings truer.He talks about recovery,but he is someone whose parents had the money to pay for very expensive treatment.He also had lots of Hollywood connections. The average joe addict is not going to have the chances he did.

  2. Have you read that book called "Addict", I loved that one, it kept me reading well into the early hours, It was about this succesful bloke addicted to speed.
    Well back to life now, you know syd I feel better than I have done in ages

  3. I too just read Tweak and enjoyed it. It is written more towards the young adult readers, but I think it has a great tone and shows a kid who really went down and wanted to recover. Id love to hear your thoughts on it when you finish it.

  4. I don't know anything about it. Don't need to.

  5. What I liked about HD was that Sixx didn't hold back on just how sickeningly disgusting his using career was. I wasn't left with a desire to do what he did. I was left with a "Oy! Whatta mess! He's lucky to have not gone insane!" feeling. Of course, I'm looking at it from an "I'm in a recovery program" vantage point. Maybe it's different for someone who wasn't an addict? I'd reread it for a different perspective, but once was enough.

    Tweak was excellent! You have to read Beautiful Boy by his dad, if you haven't already. The juxtaposing of the effects of addiction like that was brilliant! Just my opinion :o)

  6. Hi Syd,

    In all my years, I've never experienced such a strong and negative magnetic draw just looking at a picture like the one you have posted on this particular blog. Quite overwhelming, and a bit frightening, too. Makes me grateful to be where I am - - - even though that may seem selfish - - - but it feels safe.

    Anonymous #1

  7. Early in my sobriety a group of about 8 (mostly men) started a new AA group that concentrated on reliving their past lives in addiction and trying to see where the "triggers" for relapse were.
    I attended it twice and noticed that they never talked about a solution but wallowed and whined about their past.
    Guess what? The group dissolved after a few months and all of the regular attendees even committed suicide.
    I'm glad you put the book down and can conentrate on recovery and solutions.

  8. I would never be interested in reading that book. I rather hear about the everyday normal person (whatever normal is) who struggles through addiction and recovery. Maybe one of us should write our own book.

  9. Have you read A Million Little Pieces by James Frey? Quite the read.

  10. I also found this book actually disturbing. Maybe that's because I'm not an addict. Although, I actually liked this book. I think it was interesting how he kept doing the same things over and over with the same results. Just like they say in AA. I didn't think that it was glamorizing heroin. Although, from reading about several other bands from L.A. at this time I think heroin was glamorized. It seems that a new higher grade heroin hit L.A. at that time and it was kind of "in" to be doing it. Of course, it wreaked havoc and musicians are still struggling today from those same bands. I'm reading Anthony Kiedis' book now and he was a drug addict before he was even in a band unlike some of these other guys.

  11. I find solutions to be much more harmonious.

  12. I just ran into my journal from rehab and glanced at the first few pages of my fuzzy haze while on librium. Not the sort of publishable stuff. I also have in the same box several notebooks with drawings, writings and other pseudo-dairies written while still drinking. While some of it is quite clever, most of it is overall not the least bit glamorous.

    I am always skeptical of memoirs of addicts and alcoholics these days. I read "A Million Little Pieces" fresh out of rehab and before his scandal hit, and I told my husband, "there's something fishy about this story. I can't believe no one else thinks this guy is exaggerating and full of himself."

    I dunno. I don't have any desire to write my drinking days memoir. Sometimes I think people tell their drunk-a-logs like a badge of pride or a show of one upsmanship. I'm not sure what Nikki Sixx's takeaway is supposed to be... you can screw around like I did, still be rich and successful then write a book about it?

    No thanks. Who does that help?

  13. I loved HD and he does talk about recovery when he gets to that place. I didn't find it to be contrived because I was in the LA's rock scene in the 80's and it was just like he described. I was NOT however a groupie (I want to make that perfectly clear!!!).

    What I love about Nikki is his life NOW. The way he's changed. How he's chosen to give his time, money and energy to help others. The proceeds of that book go to helping his non-prof org that helps teen runaways get their lives back.

    I'm sure he did take some creative license with some of his story...but that's what I would expect from a writer/artist.

    Yes, his story was glamorized because of who he is - a rock star. But I think he did a good job of making the addiction look ugly.


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.