Saturday, September 13, 2008
A comment on my last post was about expectations and that having low expectations seemed like a surprisingly negative way to think. I have learned that an expectation is nothing more than a resentment in the making. What that means is if I expect someone to behave a certain way and they don't, then I become resentful.
The only one I can have expectations of is myself because I am the only one I can control. I can have *hope* of certain things, but I cannot expect. I can hope my alcoholic doesn't drink today, but I can't expect her not to. I had to learn to accept life on life's terms, not on mine. The only way I found to do that was to put my trust in my Higher Power.
"Hope comes in the words of the Second Step. My Higher Power can restore to me what I once believed to be irrevocably lost--my sanity and serenity. I am not promised that my loved ones will find sobriety." Hope for Today
So to me, this isn't negative thinking but thinking that provides me with peace and comfort, knowing that I can't control outcomes. I hope for the best, but I keep my expectations where they need to be--on me and not on another.
"Expectations can cause havoc in our daily living. We all have a basic right to be treated with dignity and respect, but that doesn't mean life will always go our way. The twists and turns of life often carry us up rivers of disappointment to shores we never chose to visit.
Facing life as fully involved travelers, without expectations about outcomes, is perhaps the brightest way to travel. Making plans without setting up for certain outcomes makes us flexible people who learn to go with the flow. It has been said that there is a direct proportion between our level of expectation and the amount of stress we have in our lives. Trusting the results to a larger plan allows us to relax and enjoy the adventure of the journey.
As we grow closer to our Higher Power, we find we can let go. We are more peaceful and confident, less frantic and controlling. Trusting that our Higher Power will protect us, no matter what we encounter on our journey, helps us face the future with a calm and loving heart." Courage to Change
On another note, I've been watching the Houston news station carried on DirecTV during the night and this morning. I'm glad that many people made it through the storm. Dave and Scott are okay. Hopefully, Pam is as well.
I'm off to the boat for the weekend.