Wednesday, September 24, 2008

To my sponsor

Dear B.,
I've noticed lately that you have been having a hard time. Life has thrown some things your way that were unexpected. You have given a lot of yourself to others, but I have sensed that perhaps not all have appreciated how much that you do.

Your kids have been a source of enjoyment and sadness for you. You've talked about that. I know that you've always wanted the best for them. But they are grown up now. They make their own decisions. You've told me that I need to get out of the way of others and allow them the dignity to fail. It was good advice. I see how trying to control others, wanting them to do what I wanted was just my ego and character defects in control. I was shutting out my HP by trying to be the Higher Power of another. That went over like a ton of bricks.

I want to let you know that you have been an inspiration for me. I've listened and learned. It's been a legacy that was passed down from several generations of Al-Anon sponsors. It's a long lineage of love and strength. Thanks for sharing that. I've absorbed it and want to let you know that I'm here for you just in the way that you've been there for me. That's what I've learned about this program. We don't refuse another.

Just wanted to let you know that I've got your back.


  1. Well, I guess I should have no complaint with "published" open letters, right? -grin-

    That's very touching, what you shared with us. thanks

  2. A powerful post. Would that we all had each other's back...
    Thanks for pointing out the tradition, and the need to carry it on.

  3. What a wonderful letter. I was so afraid I was going to get to the end of it and see that you had fired your sponsor. So many do - when the sponsor starts to be human, have difficulties, etc.

    You know that it is a two-way street.

    God Bless You Syd.

  4. Wonderful - powerful - touching letter - Cat

  5. Still no sponsor here, Syd.

    But I feel myself leaning a little more in that direction.


  6. wow, this has been an important note to read for me today ... allowing others the dignity to fail, instead of trying to be the Higher Power of another.

    It's something I have been spending a lot of time thinking about lately, struggling so much with another's struggle in dealing with a life without drinking ... thank you so much for sharing this, it means a lot ...


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