Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I got a good night's sleep and am enjoying the cool morning here. I'm staying at a hotel right on the beach. I hope to get out for a walk later today. And later tonight I want to find some seafood, preferably steamers, to eat. I miss eating those tasty mollusks.
I talked to my sponsor and the topic for my home group meeting last night was dealing with unacceptable behavior. I'm sorry that I missed it because it is a topic that I struggle with often. My meter for unacceptable behavior can have a wide range. I'm dealing with an alcoholic in recovery so drunken acting out isn't an issue. But angry outbursts and self-centeredness still occur. I can usually shrug off unacceptable behavior in the people that I love, but there are times when I simply buy into what's going on and build a resentment. And eventually that resentment leads to anger.
I have learned to inventory my feelings. And I know that I am powerless over others. But when unacceptable behavior occurs, I don't think that I need to always ignore it. Sometimes it doesn't warrant ignoring.
I have boundaries and when those get crossed, then it's time for me to detach from the other person. And as I do, I realize that wanting another to be reasonable, wanting another to see my view, or to make amends is not something that I can control. As long as I take care of myself and keep my boundaries intact, then I can deal with unacceptable behavior in a manageable way.