Friday, November 7, 2008

It'a an inside job

There's a new blogger around: Little Miss Sunshine. If you get a chance, stop by and give her a welcome. Caper's story is similar to mine in that she is married to an alcoholic, put up a happy facade, eventually hit her emotional bottom and has now decided to get her life back and live it.

One of the things that the title of her blog brings to mind is that the happy face we put forth to the world masks a mess underneath. I've always liked the saying that "Happiness is an inside job". But one of the challenges in recovery is to understand how to go about fixing my inside so that I am able to feel the happiness that I know is buried within.

I've read something in one of the on line forums that it's best to
"live life, and allow happiness to find me", as opposed to trying to pursue happiness. This is a lesson that is starting to finally make sense to me. I believe in the words, but sometimes have difficulty in actually applying them to my everyday life.

And another truth that I have come to accept is that we really do control our attitudes, outlook and ultimately happiness based upon the perspectives that we bring to things. So basically my inner world has a lot to do with what happens externally and my thoughts and emotions have a huge effect on the course of my life.

Here are some truths that Brenda Ehrler discovered during recovery and highlights in her book
Learning to Be You, It's an Inside Job:
  • I was contributing to unhealthy behavior
  • I needed recovery and healing
  • My own beliefs have prevented me from achieving joy
  • If I don't feel love for myself, I can't give love
  • I have the power to change beliefs that no longer work for me
  • My thoughts create my experiences
  • I have control of my thoughts
  • I have no control over the actions of others
  • Everything works together for a purpose
  • Discomfort does not go away, it becomes an adventure
I like the idea that the discomfort that I feel can be viewed as an adventure. And another way I can think of this is that my life is a path waiting to be journeyed by an explorer. Through the program I am now following a path and embarking on a journey to find the truth about my own being.


  1. good morning and good read! thanks

  2. Rule your mind or it will rule you.

  3. I am particularly fond of the phrase, " Mind Yourself". If I am minding myself I will not be tempted to control anyone else around me!

    Happy Weekend Syd!


  4. ..that's what makes it such a challenging job!

  5. Everything is an inside job. Loved your post.

    I will hop over to Little Miss Sunshine as soon as I post this comment.

  6. Hello and thank yo for stopping. Great post! Love it. Joining this blogging community has been such a positive experience. I look foward to "getting to know you" so to speak. Jenn

  7. You know syd i echo so much what u said there, i feel almost like an outside observer in my life now, i just enjoy the scenery live the soap opera, i know my future is safe in the hand of my higher power.
    The place I work now is "Howley Park" near Leeds West Yorkshire its up a tiny trecherous road in the middle of nowhere really, its about 1 mile from the White Rose.
    The site was built in 1977 so its much newer than the brick factory at Swillington (The Lost World).
    I am on despatch there and doing purchasing and blimey i gotta learn the wages for when my assisstant "Betty" goes on holiday.
    I produce reports for everyone using excel and access but unlike most systems now a days getting info out of The AS400 is a game of skill in itself which is a job i love

  8. Good to see Al-Anon working and being practiced again! Nice blog.

    Love ya,
    Anonymous #1

  9. Thank you for this post!!! Great post and great words indeed. I am reminded always that life is only on life's terms...thank you for reminding me about it all being an inside job...g

  10. I'm not happy with my negative attitude lately. I'm hoping I can remember to say to myself, now how can I turn this into serenity?


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