Saturday, May 23, 2009

Report cards?

I don't think these are for real, but if they are the teachers, they have missed their calling and should have been on Saturday Night Live.

Supposedly, these are comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.


  1. Having a 6 and 8 year old in public schools I can say that I probably wouldn't be too happy if a teacher wrote those on either one of their report cards. Although, I've got to admit some of them are pretty funny. It's amazing to me that so many hoaxes that relate to people being rude are pinned on New York. Sure there are rude people there, but there are rude people everywhere. For the most part I've experienced much more rudeness coming from my fellow citizens in L.A than I ever did from other big cities such as Chicago or New York.

  2. Haha lovely Saturday morning laugh for me! Though, seriously, if those are real I feel bad for the poor kids!

  3. Too funny Syd. I think you're right. Those teachers definitely missed their callings.

  4. Even though I have a Master's in Education, I'm glad I did not become a teacher...or some of those might have been me--in the olde days!

  5. Thanks for the chuckle, I do wonder if they are really real.

  6. We need to watch it, some of us say that to our own selves about our self!

  7. omg, for real???? i hope not...

  8. I think your comment about seeking the truth is profound, or maybe it's just because I'm beginning my al-anon process and struggling with a sober alcoholic that has used fishing to take the place of his alcohol. I admire your ability to write so clearly and be able to think in the way you do. I agree maybe that's what the issue is, maybe we are afraid of the truth.

  9. That child is one enchilada short of a combination plate.


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