Around sunset yesterday I was walking on the beach looking at the tall ships that had come into the Harbor for the maritime festival. It was peaceful with the waves lapping on the shore, the sun going down, and a gentle breeze blowing away the heat of the day.
I was watching a little girl dancing in the sand while her dad took photos of the setting sun. Little did I know at the time that a few blocks away Jenny Sanford and her four children were dealing with the fallout of her husband's affair.
I'm not going to pass any judgment on Gov. Sanford. I have my own opinions about his political views but am not going to write about that here. I have a lot of compassion for human failing. What happened to him has happened in marriages for centuries and will continue to happen. I like what the Big Book has to say," We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct" (I have often wondered why the sexual inventory is discussed on pg. 69). And I like that one can make amends and restitution for wrongs done.
But how this all plays out with his family is between them. I know that it's going to be painful and difficult. This is their dark night of the soul.
Marriage can be a wonderful thing, and it can also be difficult. I have no idea what went on behind the walls of the Governor's mansion. But somehow, someway there must have been isolation and desolation. And a kind of desperation that leads people down a path where they grope for anything, booze, sex, pills, to escape the deadness of the soul.
I hope that this family will be able to work through their pain. Maybe a walk on the beach to watch the sunset will help.
When a person chooses to work in the public arena, there comes a sense of responsibility and accountability. The shame must be enormous. I wonder if he actually thought he wouldn't get caught, or the despair was so great that he didn't think of the others he would be shaming as well. Your compassion for others is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry for the entire family and everyone affected by it. I can only imagine the roller-coaster of painful emotions that they are going through.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if we truly understand why people have affairs, learning to prevent them from occuring I think is possible when we commit ourselevs to be Honest, and not make promises to be monogamous.
ReplyDeleteHonesty is not withholding relevant information
Great thoughts and compassion Syd.
I appreciate your perspectives...
ReplyDeleteThere have been many times in my relationship when I longed for a walk on the beach. I've probably chosen to not talk things through rather than work it out in honesty more than most people I know.
I think that means I have no right to be in judgment.
Blessings and aloha...
To gamble so much... and be so high profile... he just might be an s.a.
ReplyDeleteI feel for his family too. Thanks for this post.
Yep, Syd...you are a man with compassion beyond my comprehension. And your Gift (from god) of wisdom is unusual, believe that
ReplyDeleteYour judgement also is admired by me, since you have none.
I DO! I judge--lest I be judged...or not!
I don't care about his personal life. It belongs to him, not me.
ReplyDeleteI still have a big problem with him abandoning his office and the millions of folks to whom he is responsible. I think he needs to resign and disappear from public life.
That photograph does look just like an oil painting...
ReplyDeleteI feel more compassion for his wife being publicly exposed in this manner has got to be painful.
ReplyDeleteHeaven only knows the misery in that household. They need prayers.
ReplyDeletePG
I'm so sorry for their children. Oh the pain.
ReplyDeletewe all have our problems, no matter who or where we are...
ReplyDeleteMy mum and dad have been happily married for 41 years, I have never been married and I guess I envy those who have discovered someone to share there lives with but I guess its a big gamble
ReplyDelete