Friday, July 10, 2009


When I first started this blog, I was of a mind that the title would reflect what I was feeling most of the time. When anyone would ask, I would say that I was "fine".

In reality I was anything but that. In Al-Anon, I learned that feeling FINE actually meant that I was f'd up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. That sure seemed to be a good descriptor of what I was like and had felt most of my life.

I received an email from a lady who was reading this blog. She said that she had some up with a new phrase for F.I.N.E. And she wanted to share it with me....Finally Internalizing Normal Emotions. She wrote that living that phrase was a goal and a challenging one at that.

It is a challenge to finally internalize "normal" emotions. I'm glad that I'm learning how to do exchange my resentment, anger, fear and sadness for acceptance, hope, courage and joy. In fact, if asked, you might actually get to hear how I'm doing! I have many more days now when I can honestly say that I'm "great", "happy", "glad to be alive", or "doing well". I guess that I'm really starting to feel "fine".


  1. damn syd. whenever anyone asks me how i am, i say fine, no matter if tears are running down my cheeks or i'm brimming with happiness... i like the new acronym, i really really do!

  2. A day at a time, right?

    I love that pup photo!

  3. I know what you mean, my first blog title still stays with me in my heart because I really did feel like that, "chaos in a world of weirdos"

    I was a totally different person then, I only recognize that person a little as I look back, vaguely.

  4. Syd I have been reading your blog and trying to go back to the start, as I missed so many of your posts, not knowing you then. I always used the word FINE when asked how I was, when I was really feeling down, it was a short word, best one I came up with.

    You are certainly more than fine, You are alive, your thoughts shared on here has made me and I know many others that follow you , realize life is wonderful, with its ups and down, life is what we make it. You have taught me to open up my heart once again , allow God to guide me, especially when my heart feels heavy and I really need him there.

    May God continue to bless you, guide you,I feel him there with you all the way. I am so glad you feel ALIVE, FINE, I am thankful you have made me feel the same.
    bless you and have a great weekend!!

    BTW is that your dog. he/she is gorgeous

  5. LOVE the dog. So cute! And I love this post too. I think the term "F.I.N.E." can have various meanings and it can change over time. No need to pick just one! When I was drinking I totally would have related to the original definition of F.I.N.E. -- that was me in a nutshell!

  6. I think her new definition is great! Love the doggy. So, so cute!

  7. Syd,
    It's a photo of your Heart dog, right? So adorable.

    I am glad you really are doing FINE these days.

    Have a terrific weekend and please hug Heart dog for me. My dog is a webbed-footed, water-retrieving breed and won't go in any further than her forelegs, even for a damn cheese sandwich. What's up with that?

    Love you tons,


  8. I'm with Shadow, I tend to say "fine" no matter what the real feelings. If something tough is going on in my personal life, I'm not going to elaborate on it.

  9. Funny...I learned that same meaning of FINE in Alanon almost 20 years ago. I don't let people get away with a response of FINE anymore. I think a new meaning is a wonderful idea!


    (ok, I need more time on this)

  10. I figure my job is to say I'm fine, then I let others figure out what, if anything that means.

    As you've suggested, my bigger job is to "be" fine and have it mean something that would be of value in God's plan.

    Blessings and aloha...

  11. I think Your definition is where I have been and her definition is where I am heading - most days!

    Love the pup Syd - have a good weekend!

  12. Finally Internalizing Normal Emotions.....ok, I want that. It will come, I'm beginning to comprehend healthy I have hope that the emotions will come.
    Oh, I love how labs look when they swim. I love labs.

  13. Syd, thanks for sharing the new acronym! It great to see you feeling fine. I told a friend today that I was happy and had a lot to live for and I think my statement shocked both of us, because I meant it!

  14. Love the new acronym and the dog pic. I need to think this through. I generally respond with 'I'm well, and you?'

  15. hello my friend, it's been a bit- glad you are still around sharing your words of wisdom. Thank you Syd

  16. I am glad that you are living your new version of fine.

  17. I try to be honest these days. If I'm not fine I don't say I am.

    If it is my sponsor or someone I trust and I'm not feeling fine, I'll tell them.

    If it is someone I don't choose to open up to completely, I'll just say something rather general like, "Not so bad".

    Of course, if I really am fine which I usually am (thank God) I'll say so to everyone. :)


  18. I find that in recovery, I keep noticing feelings of happiness and gratitude just showing up. How nice, right? I like the acronym.

  19. When someone asks me how I am feeling and I say Fine I am often aware its just a quick easy answer to a very big question.
    Great Accronym for FINE, F*** up, insecure neurotic and emotional so true as well


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