I watched the movie "Requiem for a Dream" last night. It was one of those flicks that made me feel as if I were watching a car wreck--I wanted to not watch but couldn't take my eyes away.
It's a story about addiction and what happens to those who get hooked. In this case, a mother and her son and his two friends are the ones who go down the path to insanity, sickness, and depravity. The outcome is predictable as one watches the horror of addiction take hold.
I have read books about what addiction is like from the standpoint of the addict/alcoholic, but I don't think the words quite have the impact that the visual does. I just thank God that I never went down that path.
I felt disturbed, vulnerable and sad after watching this movie. I think that it's ultimately about loneliness which is a definite trigger for me. One reviewer wrote: "Even when dreams are shared, they can fail to materialise; even when relationships are strong, they can wear out; even when the mind is unflinching, it can give way to doubts. When one is young one is awed by the power of the youth and takes pride in it; when one is old, one dreams of the power of youth and takes refuge in it. Both are so misconceived, so misplaced. The only thing that the young and the old have in common is the power to dream… dream for the future… dreams that can wither out and die, uncherished, unrealised, unlived." Heavy stuff.
So I am grateful today for:
- Not feeling alone but part of so much
- Not having ever acted out my destructive thoughts towards myself
- Getting a lot of good food cooked for a friend's birthday (natal) tomorrow
- A breath of cooler air that has come in on some NE winds
- That it's Friday and the weekend is ahead.