Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas redneck style


Rednecks aren't just confined to the South. But we do have an abundance of the "good ole boy" types around. So if you recognize this Christmas dinner, you might just have experienced a "Redneck Christmas":

You've ever had Christmas dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
Christmas dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate (all the time!!!)
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table (who has an ironing board???)
On Christmas Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road" (and that is true for us!!)
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food (aren't they???)
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.

17 comments:

  1. It's true, there are rednecks everywhere!

    We have a client that lives in a multi-million dollar property and their street isn't paved. The driveway, yes--the street, no.

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  2. oh you're baaaaad, heee heee heeee

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  3. hee hee...I have an ironing board and I have used it as buffet table, but in my own defense, I did drape it with an old curtain to make it look fancy ;)

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  4. I live off of a paved road on dead end street so...

    As for redneck functions - My daughters wedding reception was in a truck garage, that smelled like diesel fumes and everything you ate tasted the same. And Pickles coat was dirty and greasy afterwards. (I know I almost cried, it was the inlaws idea...but my daughter loved the guy).

    I just hope she can laugh about it years later. I still cringe thinking about it. (Hugs)Indigo

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  5. THIS MAKES ME SOOOOOO Proud to be Southern!

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  6. We have 3 baby chickens in a cage on our kitchen counter. We still are using kerosene for heat. I have had to superglue my front crown that fell out till after Christmas when I can start comparison shopping dentists. My youngest son is selling xmas trees in Miami because it is a job that he doesn't have to pass a drug test for.

    Yep..we're redneck.

    Namaste

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  7. Pork and Beans is definitely fine dinning. Up here on the West Coast, we pare it with slices of *12 grain* toast (smothered in margarine). Yum

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  8. Pam's got class :)

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  9. lol good stuff Syd! so, rain or snow this weekend for you sir? It looks mighty nasty down your way!

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  10. How many do I have to get to qualify? Oh, I was afraid of that...

    Wishing you happy eating and digesting...

    Blessings and aloha...

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  11. So often I think of how marijuana would really take the turkey stuffing to a different level. Just sayin'...

    That must be the illegal secret family recipe.

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  12. So, is Vienna Sausage supposed to be the main course instead of the appetizer...with a couple of saltines and a can of cheese whiz, Voila!

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  13. ...It's also a bad sign if your car has a fly strip hanging from the rear view mirror. I'm afraid I've just about lived this one.

    Great list!

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  14. Syd we nned to get in Synch. I just posted about food, before reading your post. By the way, whats a redneck??

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  15. I have a road in Meridian, Mississippi, named after my family, so I qualify as a red neck.

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  16. I love this list!

    I definitely live in redneck territory but we're close to a college town so it's an interesting mix.

    Scott- That's our town too. Definitely a few paved driveways on dirt roads, including ours although our driveway isn't much longer than 2 cars.

    I think "dial-up internet" should be on the list too.

    Indigo- I LOVE where your daughter's wedding reception was held. LOL! At least it was probably easy to pay for.

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