Taking root

I'm at a conference today on invasive plant species.  A group of us organized this conference because of concerns over plants being brought in by garden centers that are non-native for this area.  We are trying to raise awareness among nursery managers, foresters, and land managers about the issue.  It is difficult to remove invasive species once they have established a foothold in the area.

I am glad to have gotten a good night's sleep last night, although once again I stayed up too late to read the newspaper.  It's going to be a rather long work week for me.  In addition to my work, I have two evening Al-Anon meetings, a couple of noon meetings, and three sponsee meetings. 

I saw one of my sponsees at the oyster roast yesterday. He was walking beside one of his children who was on a pony ride.  He looked happy and the child looked much less than serene on the back of a pony.  I can remember my first pony ride.  I was thrilled for the ride but as I was lifted to the back of the pony, the man burned my arm with a cigarette he had in his mouth.  I never made a sound because even at that young age, I was holding back my pain and not wanting to call attention to myself.  I still remember looking down at the burn spot on my arm, trying to stifle tears and still enjoy the pony ride.

It's amazing how much I stifled my feelings, being afraid that I would make someone angry.  I still have a lot of stoicism, but I am working on expressing my feelings more freely. It takes time to let those old behaviors go once they have taken root.  I am grateful that these memories, although painful, have helped raise my awareness.