I wrote about a friend who called the other day to share her disgust with her boyfriend who got drunk and peed on her and the bed. Now she caught the boyfriend in bed with another woman and has kicked him out. She called early this morning to tell us that the degradation she felt was terrible, but the anger was much worse. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
I am once again reminded that alcohol takes people to great depths of degradation. And it cuts a wide swath through the psyche of both the alcoholic and those who are affected by the disease. She gave him many chances. I was wondering when she would reach her limit, as we all do. She told me yesterday that she simply had to have proof, rather than trusting her intuition. And he provided her with plenty of that and an image that will stick in her head for some time. Maybe he will get it one of these days. Or maybe he will continue to slide further down without really caring when the end happens. I find it all really sad.
Yet in spite of her anger, our friend says that she wishes him well. She understands that he has a disease, but his comfort and his problems aren't her concern anymore. She is going to spend time with her child and take time for herself and her needs. She says that it will be a while before she trusts again.
Yes, it does take a while. It takes enough time until the pain starts to fade and hope builds in the heart and soul. We forget our fury and venture forth. But not until things have been processed: