Sunday, November 28, 2010

A glum lot

I know that there is a difference in some of the meetings that I attend in Al-Anon. In my home group, there is a laid back feel to the meeting. We only have a few people so we tend to share multiple times, and sometimes we even cross talk.

In one of the evening meetings, the format is strictly by the traditions. In another, there are a lot of double winners and generally either much laughter or tears. Newcomers generally come in a lot of pain and often sob. We offer encouraging words to them to keep coming back.

But just as often there is a lot of laughter at meetings. And some of us are much more humorous than others. I tend to be the more serious type, but have found that since being in this program there is often something to laugh about. It has taken me a while to be able to laugh at some of the things shared in meetings. I guess that by and large, those of us in Al-Anon tend to be a bit on the reserved side. But as peace of mind increases, so does my sense of humor.

I can remember going to open AA meetings and thinking how much camaraderie there was. Meetings before the meeting, dinner after the meeting, lots of hooting and hollering in the meeting--not the type of stuff that happens much in Al-Anon. I don't think that I have ever been to an Al- Anon meeting where there was clapping and much ado after reading of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

I am glad to go to Al-Anon meetings where there is laughter. It feels good to be able to share and even laugh at ourselves in a non-disparaging way. We may not hoot and holler but every smile or chuckle is a reminder that none of us has to be glum. I have moved through the truly sad, despondent times to be able to feel more joy than not, regardless of how the alcoholics in my life feel.

16 comments:

  1. well laughter is the best medicine afterall.

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  2. Anything which does not involve humor is nothing I care to be involved with. Lord. If I couldn't laugh....

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  3. When I first attended a meeting where there was an AA meeting going on next door I was jealous. When their meeting let out it was like a big party, some things never change I thought. Our meeting was quiet and painful most of the time. Maybe it doesn't seem like life or death for us like it does for them, but really it is life or spiritual death. I would have never made it this far. When my happiness was tied to how another person felt about me or acted my life was painful. It took me along time to let go and feel joy.

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  4. nice...you are right we do not have to be glum...and smiles (like humor) are great medicine...

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  5. My home group in Atlanta had a AA beginners meeting across the hall at the same time. There was usually laughter at those meetings, and I remember what a relief it was to hear when I first started going.

    It was also fun to see the AA's look of surprise when they saw us laughing. ;)

    Joni Mitchell said "laughing & crying, you know it's the same release...." might as well laugh

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  6. Humor, as well as tears have seen my husband and I through many rough places with our heroin addicted son. A little dark humor that can release the anti-stress hormones is invaluable! Such communal laughter says "We're all in this together and we'll see each other through it" Keep smiling, chuckling, and laughing. :)

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  7. Laughter IS the best medicine! The more I'm able to look at my impossibly crazy behavior in the past and recognize just exactly how crazy it was, the more I'm able to laugh about it. Sometimes it's a morbid laugh, sometimes it's an embarrased laugh, and sometimes it an I'm grateful to not be in that situation anymore kind of laugh. Either way, being able to laugh these days is a precious gife that I hope I continue to receive on a daily basis =)

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  8. I can take myself a little too seriously sometimes, it's good to be able to laugh at myself too.

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  9. I think the main point of recovery is to feel better about oneself and to be happy, joyous and free.

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  10. I have learned that there is, indeed, "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance". When I was being a shoulder for a dear friend yesterday whose heart was broken I mentioned her "snot bubbles". It made her smile. That is the gift of laughter, that, no matter what, it will be okay.

    ♥namaste♥

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  11. I'm grateful to have found the understanding in Alanon that led me to AA, were it not for the quiet stable and intuitive understanding, I know that my heart and head would not have been opened to a broader understanding of Alcoholism and therefore myself. I have to admit, I do love the hooting and hollering meetings but I love the intimate serious meetings too. They are both important to the full understanding of who we are and how many facets recovery has. :) Just like life.

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  12. I remember my first and last AlAnon meeting. I was one of the "sobbers".

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  13. my guess is that to some extent, you Al-Anons have had your fill of alcoholic reverie, yes? :-)

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  14. Coming up pretty soon is a Gifts of the Program meeting that I don't miss for the world. It's a beautiful candlelight meeting, with supper beforehand and lots of laughter and hugs afterward... Been going to this meeting for 12 years.

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  15. I was one of those sobbers when I first came into the rooms of Alanon. Now I am a laugher. :o) I love it and am so grateful that despite what might be going on in my addicts life, I can still find something to laugh about thanks to what I have learned in those rooms.

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  16. The meetings that have laughter and camaraderie are the ones that draw me back. Life is heavy enough - I'm happy to find those who know that once you deal with the heavy stuff, you have to laugh!

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