I was going to write this morning about how everything has been going well: Rain came last night to refresh everything and quiet the heat, the garden is yielding a lot of vegetables, my wife's parents have been maintaining. I was lying in bed thinking about the day and relishing the thought of spending the weekend at an inlet up the coast about 20 miles. Then the phone rang.
My mother-in-law was on the line saying that Pop was not feeling well. That means that he is passing blood again. C. was downtown at the medical university doing her early morning cardiac rehab exercise class. Mom asked what should she do so I told her to call 911 and have him transported to the hospital.
I have to say that I am doing my best to feel compassion and caring. But I am also tired of the intrusion into our lives. Pop still insists on doing just about everything, even though there are nurses aides coming in twice a day to change linens, give Mom a bath, do laundry, and a host of other things. He decided that he didn't like the morning aide so he told her she was no longer needed. He told me that he could do all the things that she was doing and better as long as he stayed well. So here we are.
My immediate reaction was that I don't want to go over and spend the night again. I want to sleep in my own bed and go about those things that I enjoy. The parents-in-law have the means to pay for help. I respect that they want to stay in their house. I worry about the stress that this will cause C. I am hoping for a solution in which an aide can spend the night there until Pop is out of the hospital. We would then be able to cover the day time hours. Mom cannot be left alone.
I know that there is a solution. I know that I am willing to help but not be all encompassed by this. One part of me feels that I "should" rush over and be the good son-in-law. The other part of me says that I have done a lot and am wanting to have my life. The two are at odds within. I have learned in Al-Anon to do the next right thing. I know what that is.