I suppose that I have had a few things to be stressed about over the past several months. I definitely have been on edge a bit more lately because some of the people around me are having difficulties. That being said, I take care of myself by eating right, exercising, and relaxing. I am not overweight, don't smoke, and seldom even have a beer. But I have an active and inquisitive mind. And I am the product of a life of living with alcoholism. I suppose though that just having issues on the mind can cause a certain amount of stress. Some of those issues seem to not be immediately resolvable by me, so I have no need to spend time thinking about solutions. I know all these things intuitively, yet the feeling of a shoe getting ready to drop continues.
I am going to see the cardiologist that I went to before when I had those heart sounds that he thought were nothing to worry about. He suggested that I stop the caffeine. I wonder what he will say this time: "Stop this life of feeling responsible. Get rid of the stress." Yes, I am doing what I can on that.
I am going to take it easy today. I have a meeting tonight. I did sleep at home last night in my own comfortable bed. I realize that I can't divest my life of all stress. These are stressful times. And I have to deal with what comes my way. But the heart fluttering is a reminder that I may not be letting things go as readily as I thought. I have a residual feeling of anxiety that seems to have wormed its way into my psyche. I want my heart sounds to be strong. I want to be kind to myself and not take on the weight of the world.
When I went through the kidney stone thing I was gently reminded of the things I cannot control, my own body. I could do what I needed to do to take care of myself. Powerlessness and God giving me the power to carry out what I need to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, Syd. When I have added stress, I up my intake of Al-Anon through more meetings, reading, and practise of Step 11.
ReplyDeleteoh man, yes def get it checked...and treated...& dont over do it until then...
ReplyDeleteI feel sure that the heart flutterings you are experiencing will turn out to be nothing to worry about, probably just the same as an involuntary tick that one experiences in a facial muscle occasionally. However, you are wise to get checked out. Take care and relax as much as you can duering this stressful time x
ReplyDeletePlease let us know your results. Now that the cat's out of the bag, I want to know that you are alright. And I'm sure you are.
ReplyDeleteYou may need to add more "good stress" to your life to push out the bad stress. We all need to function in this life with some challenges to keep us alert and active and engaged. This is "good stress." Sometimes if we have enough of the good, there isn't time for the mind to focus on the bad stressors. Also, get some rest. Sleep is so healing. :)
ReplyDeleteRegarding all points practical and spiritual, you seem to be under the influence of the Serenity Prayer :) . Key here, though, might be the feeling of a shoe about to drop which is an intuitive rather mental or physical or emotional phenomenon and not as subject to control. The Serenity Prayer is up to that task, too.
ReplyDeleteAs for not taking on the weight of the world? You gave us an example yesterday :) . I am coming home and leaving the rest of the evening to the night Crew, trusting that someone other than me will be able to take care of things."
Your detail and thought-filled-ness in your posts is helpful to me in processing my circumstances. I tend to look broadly and then narrow my focus rather than focus on what's immediate and work my way out to relative importance. I hope that makes sense... It's a breakthrough in some way. And so, thank you...!
Sounds like anxiety.
ReplyDeleteBut good for you for going to see a cardiologist.Sending you the love.
Same thing is happening to me. I am choosing to wait to go to the doctor. I gave up caffeine, I try to exercise everyday.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself.
Prayers, Jane
When I stress I get a stomach ache. The body will react in one way or another when we keep it inside.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they will make you run fast on a treadmill. I'm betting you will do fine.
Our bodies tell us the truths our minds do not want to reveal.
ReplyDeleteGo see the doctor, and be relieved of THAT stress, at least.
when the mind ignore, the body sits up and does something to make us take notice... complex beings we are.
ReplyDeletei hope and wish that your troubles will resolve and leave you free and untroubled to sail your boat, enjoy your so, walk your pups, grow your garden and keep on posting these most excellent insights of yours.
Perhaps a night on the boat?
ReplyDeleteA trip to the doctor to set your mind at ease or discover a problem...either way taking action always helps don't you think?
Take care Syd -- you are much loved.Try to relax and have some summer fun with C.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to this entry, Syd. Stress is a killer. There are times that I would have gone under if it weren't for AA and it's teachings. It's really saved me and I'm sure that Al-anon does that for you too ... BUT be sure to check it out just in case.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are going to the doctor, just to have stuff checked out. I love you, buddy. Try and get some down time, okay?
ReplyDeleteSB
God's blessings on your heavily exercised heart.
ReplyDeleteYou are also the product not only of living with alcoholism, but of taking care of elderly parents and that can add an additional toll on the body and the mind.
ReplyDeletePrayers are going out to you.
Be gentle with yourself. Your body is definitely speaking to you. I'm glad you are taking action. Hope all is well with you.
ReplyDelete