Someone asked me if it felt different to have five years. I said that it really didn't because the peaks and valleys that were so prevalent during the first couple of years have decreased. Now I feel as if I am on level ground at last, or in sailing terms, an even keel. There are still days when things can quickly get the best of me, but I don't stay in a downward spiral for long. I get back on track by doing those things that I have learned help me to get over myself.
I am going to miss my sponsor when he leaves in October. He has been a constant in my time in Al-Anon. Even though he will be far away, I will still call just as I do now. I have tried to not dwell on his leaving. I just appreciate that he is still here for now. But I know that a void will be there. I get attached to people and don't like to see them go. But I have also had to think about having someone locally who can be a co-sponsor.
I found someone that I am comfortable with. I have known him in the program for a while. We talk like friends so I know that we are comfortable with each other. I don't think that we have defined what we will work on together. Maybe it will simply be more like having a service sponsor. Time will tell on that as more is revealed.
Once again, I am up too late. Tomorrow is a busy day with meeting a sponsee, having lunch with my co-sponsor, and then starting another marine course on Advanced Piloting tomorrow night. That course will run for 10 weeks. The last one I took was intense and this one will be no less. But it exercises the brain and is valuable information that I can put to practical use when sailing.
I'll leave you with some thoughts on worry. I think Rumi has it about right: