Year five

I picked up my five year medallion tonight at the meeting.  This is a small group, but it is home to me.  We had the meeting at my sponsor's house which was a special treat.  There were pizza rolls, cookies and sodas.  We had the meeting, ate some snacks and talked. 

Someone asked me if it felt different to have five years.  I said that it really didn't because the peaks and valleys that were so prevalent during the first couple of years have decreased.  Now I feel as if I am on level ground at last, or in sailing terms, an even keel.  There are still days when things can quickly get the best of me, but I don't stay in a downward spiral for long.  I get back on track by doing those things that I have learned help me to get over myself.   

I am going to miss my sponsor when he leaves in October.  He has been a constant in my time in Al-Anon.  Even though he will be far away,  I will still call just as I do now.  I have tried to not dwell on his leaving.  I just appreciate that he is still here for now.  But I know that a void will be there.  I get attached to people and don't like to see them go.  But I have also had to think about having someone locally who can be a co-sponsor. 

I found someone that I am comfortable with.  I have known him in the program for a while.   We talk like friends so I know that we are comfortable with each other.  I don't think that we have defined what we will work on together.  Maybe it will simply be more like having a service sponsor.  Time will tell on that as more is revealed.

Once again, I am up too late.  Tomorrow is a busy day with meeting a sponsee, having lunch with my co-sponsor, and then starting another marine course on Advanced Piloting tomorrow night.  That course will run for 10 weeks.  The last one I took was intense and this one will be no less.  But it exercises the brain and is valuable information that I can put to practical use when sailing.

I'll leave you with some thoughts on worry.  I think Rumi has it about right:

“Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.”