Saturday, September 24, 2011
I suppose that I feel the same way. Maybe it is the co-dependent in me who is not willing to toss away another person when the going gets rough. Although I was walking out the door due to being fed up with alcoholism, I know that in my heart, I was being torn apart. I loved another, not because of vows or legalities, but because I truly loved this person that I married. I knew her worth underneath the alcoholic demeanor. I knew that she was a good person through and through. Difficult, sad, stubborn--but still filled with goodness. I used to tell people that she is the best person I know. I believe that still.
We are a society that throws away people and things that we no longer want. We give up way too easily. Few want to dig deep within themselves to look for solutions. Thankfully, I have found a great deal of inner strength in Al-Anon. I am a solution oriented thinker. I don't throw away people or animals. I need to throw away some things in the house but instead I take them to Good Will or give them to the nearby church who finds a way to distribute them to those in need.
I am glad to not be too quick to cast off lines but to contemplate the wind and the current to see how the boat will move away from her slip. Life is like that. I don't cast off lines easily. I weigh circumstances, seek solutions, search within for forgiveness, and realize that each of us is so imperfect.