Thursday, November 17, 2011
A serving of self-pity
In years past, we didn't have a large crowd, but there would be my mother, C.'s aunt, and the parents-in-law. One year, we had some of my wife's distant relatives over and their children. It was a wonderful meal, with little printed up menus for people to take home. We outdid ourselves. And what happened was that my father-in-law got drunk, fell asleep in his chair, and everyone left him to sleep it off. I ended up taking him home, during which he was angrily telling me that he should not have been left. After that Thanksgiving, we decided to not have any more large family gatherings. That day left us pretty shell-shocked.
This year, I am just tired and feeling down. There is no joy over at the in-laws, even though the new caregivers will be there. Perhaps they will be joyful and happy to be around. I am going to keep an open mind about the day. We are invited to have a second evening meal at the home of some friends on Thanksgiving. We are going to that. Yet, I wish that our home were filled up with happy people who could enjoy this house and the food that we cook. Would you like some self-pity served with that turkey?
It seems sad to have the table set and no one to sit down at it. I know that it is up to us to take action. I would like the Normal Rockwell version of Thanksgiving but that is not what will happen. Most people are with their family, and ours has dwindled to a minimum. Even contemplating Christmas is just too much as well. It seems that the pressure to do something, to get "things", to force happiness out of material goods is overwhelming. I don't want to do that.
I want the happiness to happen because we care about each other, we want to be together, and we are the best gift to give another through our love. That is something to be thankful about. It can still happen with an attitude adjustment by me.