Friday, March 30, 2012

Hard to put into words

Yesterday,  the meeting topic was about the spiritual experiences that we have.  I listened to all the shares but kept silent.  I know that I have had numerous spiritual experiences. Sometimes the words just don't seem adequate to describe the intensity of those I have had.  I've written about one here and another here on this blog. These events were clearly ones that showed me there was a connection in spirit with my parents as they were dying.  I believe these were spiritual experiences.  

The reading of amends to my parents during my ninth step was another spiritual experience. We were in a cemetery at the old church where my home group meeting is held. It's a peaceful place with many old live oak trees.  The letters that I read were those that I had written to my parents and a couple of other relatives. After reading, I put each letter in a pot and my sponsor set fire to each one. We watched the smoke rise up and waft about on the wind.  As I read the letters to my parents, the wind shifted and the smoke surrounded me.  It was as if they were letting me know all was okay.

I have described these experiences in meetings before.  They affect me in a profound way.  Yet, every day there are other "Ah-ha" moments of enlightenment.  The people that I meet, the conversations that I have with those I sponsor, sharing the steps, living with alcoholism, having the sailboat--these are all experiences that I think were meant to be.  Each experience opens me up to be more receptive and more alive.  I am so much more aware and appreciative of life. Every day is an opportunity to be clearer in what's important and what can be let go.

I know that not every day or situation is one that I am fully awake to yet.  My awakening is an evolving process.   I liken the feeling of spiritual awakening to the tide.  It rolls in and carries me in a wave of good feelings.  And then it also may depart, leaving me behind,  feeling vulnerable and stranded.  But I know that the good tide of feelings will return.  And with those moments when I am awash in the wonderment of life, I know that my spirit is awakening, little by little, one day at a time.


  1. I've had spiritual experiences also, but I had to let down my walls to be aware of them.

    I wonder how many connections I would have made with others if I had "woken up" to these feelings earlier...

    Nowadays, I see the balance, the karma, the circles..whatever you want to call it...of our connectedness.

    Have a great week end, Syd.

  2. Hi Syd. I am "sensitive", but while I was with my soon to be ex husband, it was like my guide or guides had left me. I thought maybe I stopped listening, because I didn't want to hear or see the truth of matters. Now that I am moving on, more "coincidences" or spiritual experiences are happening again. I wouldn't say this is spiritual, but it's kind of funny: The fortune cookie I opened on St. Patrick's Day said, "The rainbow's treasures will soon belong to you." Pretty auspicious.

  3. I try to keep my natural skepticism at bay and let my mind open to the fact that there are spiritual happenings almost every day. Some are mere whispers and others amaze me and leave me without answers. I love it.

  4. Ahhh Syd,

    The old country ceneteryo, with huge oaks in attendance, and people with you in trust and love - - - a beautiful way to make amends to those who are gone. Thanks for such a tender description of how a 9th step can worked with people who are no longer here.


  5. This is a beautiful post Syd.

  6. Love this post Syd, I know it too.

  7. I too belive that spiritual awakening is a process that evolves. I like the image of the tide coming in and briging something new, then receeding. Take care Syd

  8. Christ did not know what he was all about in a day.

    Siddarta did not become Buddha in a moment.

    Why live in this place if not for the knowledge to be gained?

  9. I can really relate to this post. Very well put and beautiful. Everday is still a learning experience. I am thankful to be here to take it all in. Enjoy the weekend!

  10. Beautiful post, Syd. Being aware is so important. I agree and feel it is a beautiful thing when you shared "my awakening is an evolving process."

  11. Epiphanies, I call them -- opening the door to more relatedness. Lovely post, Syd

  12. probably the thing I treasure most about AA/Al-Anon is that the spiritual experience is "allowed" to be personal and unique to each of us. THey figured out that this is how it works, literally. We're not required in AA or Al-Anon to believe a particular thing or in a particular way. This aspect of the program saved my life, and allowed me to continue to work forward through the steps.


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.