Saturday, January 26, 2013

A great week

We had a great week of vacation. And the last couple of days at the AA/Al-Anon conference were good. I am probably prejudiced but thought that the Al-Anon speaker was inspiring.

One of the things that she mentioned was how prevalent denial is in a home with alcoholism. Saying everything is "Fine" is status quo. The truth won't be revealed because putting up a front to the outside world is so important.

When I started this blog, I used the title of "I'm Just F.I.N.E" because that's what I would always say if someone asked me how I was. I certainly didn't want anyone to know what I was really feeling! I would change the meaning of that acronym today from "f__ked, insecure, neurotic and emotional" to something a lot more positive. Maybe something like "free, involved, nice and energetic" seems more accurate now.

I certainly don't feel that the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I no longer believe that I am responsible for the happiness of others. And I don't feel alone with my problems being foremost in my head.

Having a solution to what seemed like insurmountable unhappiness is an incredible thing. I am lucky in so many ways to still have dreams that I want to fulfill, rather than grieving those that were unavailable and unrealistic.

Yes, it has been a good week. I sometimes forget how things used to be. But as a measure of how far we have come, I can tell you it is miraculous.




18 comments:

  1. Syd this sounds so inspiring. I grew up in an alcoholic family and that denial was absolute, very sad. Recovery is really a second chance for everyone in the family.

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  2. You will never forget Syd but you will not be constantly reliving them either. Gadzooks man! You read content!

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  3. I remember trying to make my imaginary life, real by telling all we were fine. Denial was a huge part of my life. When I accepted my reality I was able to finally do the work and really be, OK.

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  4. Inspiring, Syd. Thank you for always being inspiring.

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  5. smiles...a beautiful miracle indeed when you can start to forget a bit of how it once was....glad you had a great week man, that is awesome....

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  6. Hi Syd, So glad to hear you had a great time at the 'Mid-Winter Conference.' It is one of the best, and always includes Al-Anon - by way of 'cooperation,' I believe.

    Glad, too, that you are back in home port, safe and sound. Just wanted to drop by and say hi!
    Hugs and Love from
    Anonymous #1

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  7. Syd that picture is so beautiful. I'm so happy you are in a better place today. Thank you for your commitment to blogging.

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  8. So glad you and C got away to this and had a wonderful time. You both have earned it.

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  9. Good post, Syd. It's really easy to forget the struggle and the pain when things go well but I need to always keep the gratitude for AA and Alanon uppermost. That's why my three meetings a week are set in stone for me ... even after 23+ years of sobriety I need to keep it "green" so I won't feel I have it licked ! (Besides which I have wonderful friends that I would never have known without these programs !)

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  10. The photo is nice on this post. It's inspiring to feel peace and serenity one of the gifts of the program for me.

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  11. When I realise how far I've come in Al-Anon,gratitude is uppermost. It can be difficult to remember that angry, frustrated, resentful woman I was all those years ago. Today, life is good. It's so good to read this, and know that Al-Anon has worked for you, as well.

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  12. The photo is hauntingly beautiful.

    I am glad your life has changed so thoroughly.

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  13. I apologize, this is not related to Mr. Syd's post.

    Can anyone tell me if Lou(BrokenHeartedMom & WhatDoesntKillYou) has a blog now, or if she hung up blogging ?


    Big V

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  14. Glad you had a good week. I sometimes forget how things used to be too. I am grateful for the ability to live more in the present. I slip sometimes but definitely recognize how far I've come.

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  15. Then you are in a right track and if you continue to show strong "no" to alcohol then a recovery assistance might not be needed after all.

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  16. What a wonderful post and a way for all of us to live our lives..no matter what our past was / is. Once we break the pattern..no matter what it is...the world is ours!

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  17. ahhh I've been away to long. Beautiful post my friend. I can feel the sigh of relief and peace as I read your post.

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.