Monday, February 3, 2014

Freeze and Thaw

We survived the great ice storm here.  It was beautiful for a couple of days--a chance to hibernate inside with a warm fire going.  There is something so comfortable about winter and the tendency to pull inside and enjoy the quiet.

Over the last week, we have had the freeze, then the thaw with great chunks of ice falling from the trees.  One of the main bridges to the town where I keep my boat was closed due to icing.  Once it was opened, I was able to travel to the boat to make sure all was okay. I listened to the ice fall from the rigging to the deck.  And the bridge was closed again because ice was falling from 200 feet and crashing through car windshields.

I am meeting up with a fellow I sponsored for about a year and a half tomorrow. He emailed me a couple of days ago saying that he wanted to meet because he been withholding some feelings, which doesn't seem fair or honest.  He doesn't want to "drop a bomb" on me, and would like to be positive and work it out, if I will hear him out.  I'm not at all sure what this is about.  I called and left a message for him to call me, but he hasn't done that and continues to text me about when to get together.  I somehow feel that a bomb will be dropped but will hear him out.  And I will look at my part in whatever is bothering him.  I'm keeping a positive feeling about this as he and I have had a close relationship in the past.

The new fellow that I am working with seems to be hanging on to a lot of self-pity, but we are moving on in our step work.  I know where he is coming from because I have felt wronged and discarded many times.  We are moving forward in a positive direction though.

Lastly, I felt a lot of sadness about the death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman from an apparent heroin overdose.  The disease is waiting and doesn't seem to take a day off.  Such a sad ending for anyone.

Hope all of you are doing well. I can't seem to get much time as I would like to visit blogs and comment.  Hope to make up for that this week, although I will be on the boat from Wednesday through Friday.


  1. Hi Syd,

    I think you have chosen wisely to be on your boat - detached - from what I read in your blog today: maybe's, possibilities, probabilities, hopefully's, and finally that glorious feeling we in Al-Anon enjoy experiencing - ACCEPTANCE - which of course does not dictate how one feels at all. Simple acceptance of people, places and situations most often, for me, give me time to relax and wait to see what will transpire. My Higher Power does amazing things - not always in my behalf - but in a totally acceptable way. (I really cannot argue with His decisions - they usually fare out much better than what my little head can project/produce.)

    Have a peaceful time looking inside yourself on that lovely boat. Keep warm and safe, please.

    Hugs, Anonymous #1

  2. oy i hope the bomb is not too bad...i guess in some ways it is good that he feels comfortable enough to come forward with whatever it is...i will be praying for you both...

    we are drenched in rain today...did not get cold enough for was a down pour....maybe this weekend...i would rather snow than ice any day....

  3. How did you take a picture of my birds at my feeder? Ha! Seriously though- same feeder and the birds could be the same as well. We have so many birds this year and I am loving watching them.
    When the ice thawed, did you notice how much noise the dripping made? It was almost like a factory- very serious sounding drips! I loved it. And I loved the sun shining again.
    Your words about self-pity made me wonder if I am swimming in that particular emotion. I will be thinking about that. As always, thanks for giving me something to ponder. Enjoy your boat time!

  4. I used to get so nervous when someone left me hanging like that. Now I see it as a very passive aggressive move intended to manipulate. I tend to swing to extremes. Al anon has helped me so much to have the chance to stop myself from reacting and to pause long enough to meditate on my situation long enough to act. Phillip

  5. Hi Syd, not knowing is always anxiety producing. I hope all goes well as more is revealed.

    I was stunned first and then deeply saddened about the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman. So talented and such a long run of sobriety.


  6. Remember that hurt people hurt people. Just something to have in your pocket when you meet with this person. It sounds like maybe he is afraid to have this meeting and is avoiding any real contact until he absolutely has to.
    Yes, the death of Phillip Seymour-Hoffman feels almost like a personal loss. It is personal.....his disease has plagued my life too and now it has taken his life, which has been my fear for as long as I can remember. :o(

  7. Oh wait....I wasn't done yet. lol Are those pictures your yard? It is so beautiful, a sanctuary. A refuge. I spent tis last weekend helping Molly move into a new apt in the the time I got home I was SO GRATEFUL for my mountain home with space and privacy and quiet. I don't think I will ever be able to live anywhere else (like back in the city) and be at peace like I am here.

  8. ice storms aren't fun, but they are certainly beautiful. my niece in canada sent me some amazing pic's of one they had there too...

    glad to hear you're busy, glad to hear you still doing your good work, and mostly glad to hear you happy and content!

  9. Hey Syd,
    I enjoyed reading this post. I got such a sense of serenity from it. I hope everything goes well with the two you're sponsoring.


  10. I hate the ignorance and judgement used in reporting anything associated with addiction. The idea that because they were successful in one area or had money this should never had happened blows my mind everyday I see the head shake of disapproval from a news anchor. Addicts and alcoholics really are our modern day lepers.

  11. Love those birds at the feeder and the snowy garden scenes. Addiction is such a sad story and recovery a slow slow process.

  12. It seems like you got much more ice and snow than we did altho we are only about 4 hours apart. Tweaking with those emails sounds like "old behavior" to me. I hope his bombshell refers only to himself.
    All the best to you and C, Syd.

  13. I hope by now you know what the issue is with the fellow who wanted to talk, and that it turned out well.

    The weather seems to be crazy everywhere this year.

  14. Hope you are keeping safe and warm Syd.


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