Thursday, March 20, 2014

Then and Now

Rachel Black kindly wrote another post about Then and Now as she removed alcohol from her life. She is now 50 weekends sober, coming up to a year. Congratulations Rachel!

In Bed
Apologies to those who clicked through hoping for a red hot blog; you will be disappointed (and it's not that kind of website).
I'm referring to that time in the morning when you are lying in bed, thinking about getting up. Particularly on a Sunday when this period lasts longer than on weekdays.

Slowly come to and lie very still until I work out it is Sunday. 
Assess myself for degree of hangover. This is based on how much I drank last night, whether my head is pounding, how thirsty I am, how desperate the need for carbs is and whether I am feeling sick or that the room is spinning.

Next I would move my head tentatively, perhaps to look at the clock or to see if I had any water at the bedside and observe whether my brain moved with my skull or if it lagged a second or two behind, only to slam into it again when my skull stopped moving. Again reassess for nausea and room spin.
Then I would consider what I had planned for the day and if there was anything planned that I would no longer be fit for, and decide whether I could cancel it or not. (Afternoon with friends, probably not. Taking kids to the swimming pool, probably cancelled.)

My thoughts would wander back to previous night to assess for damage. Had I picked an argument? Had I had loads more to drink than my Other Half (OH) and risked disapproval? Had I emptied the kitchen of snacks? Had I texted any friends with 'great ideas' or bought anything on-line on the spur of the moment?
Eventually I would sit up slowly and wait to see what happened. This was a defining moment in my ability to function or not. I would be torn between knowing how much better I would feel if I went for a shower straight away, yet would want to crawl downstairs for breakfast. The latter ran the risk of interacting with noisy children and fulfilling their demands and had to be balanced carefully. Eventually, I would go gingerly downstairs, crossing my fingers they were not going to fight with each other or have the television on too loudly and also that there was not too much in the way of clearing up wine glasses from the night before: I don't think I could bear the smell.

I lie in bed, pleased to have woken up reasonably early to make the most of a day off work. (Always so much easier to get up on Sundays than on Mondays!). Listen for children playing downstairs, hearing the sounds of them breakfasting themselves (always a bit messy but well worth a little clearing up).

Mentally I visit my lists. I love lists. Going through my To do, To buy, To do (medium term), and To do (work) lists I plan what I want and need to get done today: what I'll cook for dinner, whether I'll use the black bananas up by making muffins. And what else I will do if I have time: nip to the shops or take the pile in the garage to the dump, maybe wash the car (or persuade OH to do this).
After a quick shower I gather a load of washing from the basket and amble downstairs. I put on a wash and have a cup of tea while I decide what to have for breakfast.

Today, after 50 weekends of sobriety, I am above all thankful to be feeling well and not be hungover.

'Sober is the New Black' is full of other 'Then and Now' comparisons and is price slashed by 85% on this weekend.  


  1. Not hungover is definitely better than the opposite!

  2. Agreed Ms Moon, not hungover is always a good start to the day.

  3. Really enjoying these posts from Rachel -- more than a few memories with which I can identify!

  4. Thank you Mary, that is a lovely comment. Glad you found some identification x

  5. An interesting read on a Sunday morning. The boot may be on the other foot, but similar to my early morning thoughts before and after recovery in Al-Anon. Thank God for the now.

    A great photo Syd - you hang on tight up there!

  6. I am still amazed and thrilled each morning when I wake up and feel great. The assessing the previous nights damaged really resonated with me. In a hazy hungover fog trying to remember the previous evenings happenings and whether or not someone was going to be angry with me as a result of the lack of filter and attitude I have when drinking. 130 hangover free days me now. It is truly a blessing.


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