Sunday, September 18, 2011

We Agnostics

It was another cool, overcast day here.  I was so lazy this morning.  I didn't get out of the v-berth until around 10 AM which is really late for me.  I fixed a good breakfast and then did some engine maintenance on the boat.  It was a pretty ordinary day in a lot of ways.

The open AA meeting last night was huge.  People kept coming until there were about 40 people where there usually are around 15.  It's a Big Book study which is good.  I enjoyed listened to the shares on the chapter "We Agnostics".  I think that the question of a Higher Power is what has kept a lot of people away from Al-Anon.  I remember when I was struggling with the whole Higher Power concept.  Being a scientist, I want facts.  Instead what I found was faith.  I am not religious but can believe that there is something more powerful than me.  And there have been too many coincidences to think otherwise.

I was never too sure about all the religious teachings that I learned as a child. Not much seemed to add up.  But what I like about spirituality is that I simply need to have faith in something and have a willingness to believe.  I am glad that each person comes up with a concept of a Higher Power.  For me, it is cosmic energy---something that connects me to other people and to every living thing.  That connectedness is sacred.  With some people, I feel such a strong connection that it is as if I have known them all my life.  With others, I have to let the layers fall away in order to see who they are.  And be open and willing to not judge.

This is difficult stuff for me.  Yet, I have felt so much peace since I was willing to believe that I am not all powerful.  That was quite a burden to carry for a long time--thinking that I had the power all by myself.  Let me tell you, there is strength in numbers.  I don't have to do any of this alone.  I don't need to power through life without a helping hand,  or without faith.  I can reach out, call someone, share a problem, ask for help.  It is much better than having to always rely on myself for solutions.

I have learned that there are some things that I will never solve.  There are people that I will never change.  And that is okay.  I can let those things go.  I no longer try to figure out everything.  And amazingly enough,  a lot of worry has been removed.

One of the most symbolic ways for me to let go is to open up my tightly clenched fist and laying my palms flat, visualize a release of what I have been trying to control. I may not have the answers for those who are agnostic.  But for me, I have seen enough powerful things at work in life to realize that there are miracles afoot.   I am grateful to have my eyes wide open to all the possibilities.

16 comments:

  1. I heard a really great idea once in an A.A. Meeting.if you do not believe in God you Higher power can be some one who you look up to in A.A. who has been sober longer that you or you can barrow my higher power untill you come to believe. That goes al Al0-Anon and Al-ateen as well as N.A.

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  2. I always said that "finding" a higher power was easy, because God wasn't lost. I also said that it didn't matter what your higher power was, even if it was the pop machine in the lobby, as long as it was greater than you are.

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  3. Life has a way of often turning agnostics toward a Higher Power.

    I would not mind if Alanon openly proclaimed faith in God, but I understand why we do not. I'm glad the program has a middle ground that is acceptable to most.

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  4. smiles. nice bit of testimony...we each have different paths to the HP...grace is what won me....

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  5. I am not a scientist but I like facts. I believe in the answers of science and the mystery of God. For me they go together well. I too am grateful that in Alanon we each have our own higher power, the one that we can comprehend.

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  6. And thus- we are perhaps, Possibilians. That was beautiful, Syd.

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  7. I believe that we are able to bear witness to these miracles in the 12 Step rooms. That no matter what the individual's interpretation of gOd might be, the miracle will still happen.

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  8. I may not know who God or my Higher power is, but I know it's no me. :)

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  9. Beautifully said, Syd. I have never understood why people get hung up on the idea that to have faith and a spiritual life, one has to attach to a religion of some kind. It can provide a fame work for us to express ourselves to others and to our HP which can be very helpful as we find our way.

    The fact that people of any religion (or of none) find peace and serenity in the program pretty much says it all.

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  10. What a beautiful photo! I can relate to the cosmic energy and connectiveness with others. Although I'm getting better, I still need to stop trying to figure everything out and hand it over. That way I can enjoy each day a little bit more.

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  11. I like that we are each allowed our own belief, with no scoffing, or efforts to change that.

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  12. I have always loved this saying, Coincidence is God's way of being anonymous. Amazing coincidences are God enough for me.

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  13. These words by Albert Einstein come the closest to how I feel about the whole subject of God, or Higher Power:
    “Try to penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible laws and connections, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable.
    Veneration for this force beyond anything that we can comprehend is my religion.”

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  14. Hi Syd.
    I go with Page 55 in "We Agnostics". It reads, "...we found the Great Reality deep down within us...in the last analysis it is only there that He may be found."

    If I accept that, and don't try to "figure it out", a lot of other things seem to fall right in place.

    Song: "To Each His Own".....

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  15. I was struggling with this very issue today. A problem has been weighing me down. In a moment of divine inspiration, it hit me: this is what Al-Anon members mean when they say turn it over to a higher power. The problem is too great for me to solve on my own. I finally understood that concept and your words made it even more clear for me. My sponsor told me I would know when I got the Third Step. Today, I understood. Thank you.

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  16. Syd I also live with uncertainties. There is so much we don't know and we have to just trust and hope.

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.